eat me.

I can only bitch about the president so much without an occasional break, so today you’re getting cookies.

This is a recipe my grandma used to make all the time, and it produces what are possibly the best sugar cookies in the known universe. Do not succumb to some uppity-gourmet temptation to replace the Crisco with additional butter; this recipe was originally made with “spry”, which was some sort of primordial ur-margarine. If you replace the shortening with butter, you will get a cookie that, while tasty, will have an entirely different texture. When made correctly, these cookies are soft, cakey, and sweet with a subtle note of lemon. They will be crispy around the edges, and benefit from a sprinkling of sugar before baking to give them a slightly crunchy surface to contrast with the soft, moist interior.

Spry Sugar Cookies

  • 3/4 cup shortening
  • 1/4 cup butter
  • 2 cups granulated sugar
  • 4 egg yolks
  • 1 1/2 cups milk
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla
  • 1/2 teaspoon grated lemon zest, finely minced
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 4 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1 tablespoon baking powder
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1/2 teaspoon nutmeg

Cream shortening and butter with sugar. Add egg yolks, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Pour milk into a large measuring cup; add vanilla, lemon zest and baking soda. Into a separate bowl sift flour, baking powder, salt, and nutmeg.

Add dry ingredients to the creamed mixture alternately with the milk mixture. Drop by teaspoonfuls onto ungreased baking sheets then sprinkle with a sanding sugar or ordinary granulated sugar. Bake for 12 to 13 minutes at 375°. Store sugar cookies in an airtight covered container.

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