Gentle, Pure-Hearted Senate Republicans Ambushed by Rabid Democratic Highwaymen, Forced to Provide Sexual Services to the Democratic Goat-God Reid

…or that’s what you’d think to hear the Senate Republicans tell it. Bless their virginal little hearts. When they selflessly decided to run for seats in the United States Senate, no one told them (nor could they have imagined in their inexperience and naiveté!) that the carefree, idyllic brotherhood of the Senate itself could be shattered by the irruption of that most foul repast of villains – politics! In the Senate!! Perish the very notion!

Check out MSNBC’s hilariously (and characteristically) toolish take on the incident. Their headline even manages to squeeze some racism into their ludicrously partisan ‘coverage’ with a Scooteresque faux-literary reference to a “quiet Indian summer afternoon”. Apparently, the gentle and bucolic Senate Republicans were a-sittin’ under a tree makin’ lemonade an’ tellin’ tall-tales before the child-molesting cannibal Reid shattered their prelapsarian idylls with his blood-thirsty politics. Garsh, them there’s some scurry goin’s-on!

Senator Frist, forced to lay aside work on his boxwood derby car, called Reid’s move “a political stunt”. But what could little Billy Frist know of such impure and egregious things?

And why can’t the Senate Democrats just move on, anyway? It’s not like anyone got killed or anything!

Dumb ol’ Senate Democrats, always ruinin’ all our fun.

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