My defense

Dear Pinko Punko:

I am sorry for the mess o’ crap that went down last weekend at the 3B! house. When I first heard about the shin dig, I thought it would be a few sips of the electric Kool Aid, maybe an elicit puff of the magic dragon. Perhaps the stylin’ sounds of the Beastie Boys jamming was all I hoped for. No big deal, right? That was the dilly, yo.

Who knew it would lead to what it did: Gregor sleeping with your mother and your sister in Asshat’s bed or Cap’t T doing lines off of Pup H’s snout. Nobody meant for Jonah to go home with one of your dogs and for Res to make silly love to the inflatable Ken doll on the front lawn while Gavin snapped photos. I sure as hell was shocked when Uncanny showed up and Adorable Girlfriend bitch slapped him and then showed off the American flag on her tuckus. OK, well maybe that one I did enjoy because she had a hot looking ass, and make no mistakes, Chuckles enjoyed that too. (The drool all over his face was kind of gross though). How the Chopin bottles ended up in the gas tank of your car is still being looked into. And please do not tell Geenie Cola that someone used her teddy bear to stop the flooding in the hot tub. (I think it was either Teh or Drollpanties.) I also think that Yosef hooked up with Nell Carter’s ghost who was indeed, too much woman for him. You may also want to double check the pay-per-view bill when it arrives because it got a little silly in the wee hours of the morn and I am pretty sure that Brad R.’s mom did not mail such an animal based ‘movie’ for our enjoyment.

While I am deeply saddened for the loss of your davenport’s virginity, I take no personal responsibility for any of this. I don’t make monkeys, I just train ’em.

Wet lips and warm hugs,

Pee Wee H.

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