What is the Meaning of Cruel?

Our beloved leader Res claimed I was cruel. I note that was right after he left me in charge. I thought about it for a bit and what really constitutes cruel? Perhaps it is:

1. Eating babies.
2. Finding out someone’s password and sending email from his account only to get his ass fired.
3. Stealing a light bulb out of someone’s outdoor Christmas lights display so that the whole system doesn’t work. Worse yet, untwisting two of them just to make the lights stop.
4. Standing at a traffic light collecting money for the poor, except I keep all the earnings.
5. Having 500 lbs of dirt delivered to my nemesis’ home. Bonus point for getting it dumped on the lawn when he’s at work by letting them know to bill “me”.
6. Hacking email of a former homophobic boyfriend and sending an “I’m gay” email to his southern preacher dad. Then waiting six months until he’s recovered the satellites of it and sending Playgirl to the dad’s house in his son’s name and sending another email again stating it was a lie and that “I’m really gay”.
7. Taking on the US Post Office by waiting for a Monday holiday, shoving a cat in a mailbox on late Saturday.
8. Writing on the bathroom stalls at work: CB loves Wanda B. (Translation: the guy in the office next to mine loves the HR Director). Then when someone says something to him, I begin to write: Wanda B. is a bitch.
9. Calling into a PBS fundraiser, pledge the amount that will get me the free tote bag and receive the tote bag. Yet, never send the donation.
10. Pouring Visine in someone’s coffee.

I will have you know only one, yes one of these has ever been done by yours truly. So, I am not cruel. (I have a p value on that if required). Stanley Milgram, the famous researcher from Yale, would agree with me that I am not pure toxic evil or cruel.


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