2006 Thoughts

Got this in an email — thought it was fun:

As the New Year seeps in, here are a few points to ponder:

Number 10 – Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9 – Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which onecan die.
Number 8 – Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7 – Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach aperson to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks.
Number 6 – Some people are like a Slinky … not really good for anything, but you still can’t help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5 – Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying inhospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4 – All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3 – Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200 and a substantial tax cut saves you 30 cents?
Number 2 – In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now theworld is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006: We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows inAmerica but we haven’t got a clue as to where thousands of illegalimmigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Departmentof Agriculture in charge of immigration


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