Now with 48% more suck!

Wow, this is really awesome! Check it:

Graph depicting the general public loathing for the Republic of Dogs

Oh, and all those views? That’s me, refreshing my browser about a million times a day to see if anyone left a comment. The other 9 Pinko Punko checking to see if I’ve actually posted for once.

Do I really suck this bad? I think I have more Koufax Award nominations than actual daily readers. Maybe I need to go back to making fun of Kos? But that’s too boring to do all the time. He’s no Amber Pawlik. He doesn’t post recipes.
Oh well, at this rate, I can shut down by mid-April and use what I’m currently spending on web-hosting to buy an extra crack rock!

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25 Responses to “Now with 48% more suck!”

  1. Pinko Punko Says:

    One of those peaks is an atrios-lanche and the other was you ripping Kos. It does appear that February was a down turn.

    Up from the ass(h)es! Republic of Dogs!!!!!!!! CONSTANTLY DEGRADING YOU!

    Maybe it’s time to get new T-shirts. I have given you like 50 million ideas!

    Off the top of my head I cna only think of one or two:

    Republic of Dogs is your Creamy Lover

    RoD Home of The Radical Gay Baking Agenda

    Second Place in Our Own Contest, Now it is Time to Degrade You, Munchwagons.

    The Name of this Blog is Not Pork Snorkel. I know you wish it were. Time to be degraded.

  2. Res Publica Says:

    Second Place in Our Own Contest, Now it is Time to Degrade You, Munchwagons.

    ROTFLMAO

    That will need a picture of some fat kid with a 2nd place prize ribbon for his crappy diorama about the pilgrims or something.

  3. Pinko Punko Says:

    Opening a copy of “Tube Steak Boogie” or The Advocate, because you know what 2nd place ALWAYS leads to- degradation.

  4. Res Publica Says:

    Oh fuck shut up, you’re making me laugh so hard my boyfriend is looking at me like I’m crazy. Er.

  5. almostinfamous Says:

    Get a room.

  6. Pinko Punko Says:

    I have the particular feeling that I’ve just been degraded!

  7. blue girl Says:

    RoD absolutely has the best comment threads in all the Internets!

    And Res, don’t leave me out — I also hit this site 9 millions times a day so I can get a good laugh…I would call myself a loser for that — but, you might take that the wrong way.

    Today is your Birthday Eve!!!!!!!

  8. Res Publica Says:

    Yes, today is The Eve of the Holy Mass of THe Nativity of Res Publica. It is also “International Pi Day” (3.14 being the first three digits of Pi). I prefer to think of it as “International Pie Day”, though. Open eat-hole, instert delicious, flakey cherry-filled pastry slices!

  9. almostinfamous Says:

    Res P, if you want a google analytics login, let me know. it’s a little better than sitemeter and you can track your adwords/adsense thingie and you can feel better knowing that your blog is doing way better than mine.

  10. Res Publica Says:

    Oh yay, a new google thing! Yes, definitely! Bless you, generous readers!

  11. almostinfamous Says:

    check your republic of dogs gmail account.

  12. madame rouge Says:

    “RoD Home of The Radical Gay Baking Agenda”

    Exactly. I know I couldn’t stop clicking during the Non-specific mid-winter holiday bake-off. Talk about your food pr0n…

  13. Res Publica Says:

    Yeah, but the more relevant t-shirt idea in that vein is the one where I come in second in my own fucking contest, but that’s another story, and one I’ll save for my therapist out of my passive-agressive love for y’all.

    🙂

  14. fulsome Says:

    Whoa, I totally want google analytics! AiF you got any more to throw around?

  15. Res Publica Says:

    Does Google have anything that can de-uglify Fulsome’s site?

  16. Robust McManlyPants Says:

    Res, don’t fear the webstats. I have yet to find anything better than WP-shortstat for stat collection. I’m sure Google does a good job, but nothing is 100% accurate. Even if your readership has fallen off, I would chalk it up to an absence of food pr0n and a weeding out of the unfaithful after you went from being the Orthodox Res of Blogspot and became the One True Res of Independent Hosting. People are dumb. New URLs confuse them terribly.

  17. Robust McManlyPants Says:

    Also, have you recently tightened down the comment and referrer spam? When I finally got serious about referrer spam, my hits plummeted. Just an FYI.

  18. fulsome Says:

    Haha, res you should be glad you weren’t there for the unicorn!

    Also, seriously, how can my site be considered ugly when the Bulls! still roam free?

  19. Res Publica Says:

    Touche, fulsome. Touche.

  20. blue girl Says:

    Res, how can I check those kind of stats for my blog? Where do I go to see my own graph of page view vs. whatever kind of views there are?

  21. Res Publica Says:

    BG, go all the way to the bottom of this page. Down in the corner of the white section, there’s a little rainbow-looking square. You thought that was some kind of gay pride shit, didn’t you? Fat chance. If I’d designed the gay flag, it would be black with a skull and crossbones, but that’s another story. Anyway, you just sign up for a sitemeter account, and then follow their little instructions for how to add the sitemeter code to your site, and bingo. You too can share the joy of seeing how many people don’t read your blog! I don’t know why I ever even look at my stats.

  22. almostinfamous Says:

    fulsome, you got a gmail ID or do i have to invite you to one of those also?

  23. Pinko Punko Says:

    JEsus fulsome, it is time for you to eat it. AIF, spread the gd love brotha!

    Google up the Bulls!

  24. Pinko Punko Says:

    Nobody in their right or left mind would thing the well rounded (how can squares be round) looks better than the Three B! Home of THYCWOTI!

    ?

  25. grishaxxx Says:

    res – you are fucking brilliant – don’t let the numbers screw you up.
    And just btw, I got a huge boost from an inexplicable spam-flurry in – er – January. Yeah, right…patient on the downhill, minimal posting, I get a traffic spike. Go fucking figure.
    It will balance out, man – this year is shaping up to be the mother of all kulturkampf years ever – let’s go get ’em, tiger!

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