Twisty does Tee-Vee

I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who has noticed all my wholesome liberal friends not watching the braincandytron:

Just as I once was amazed to discover that knitters make up half the audience of I Blame The Patriarchy, so was I recently shocked by the revelation that none of you readers owns a television, or that you do own a television but you never turn it on, or that you do turn it on but only to watch DVDs twice a year, or that you never turn it on because you store your copy of Our Bodies, Our Selves in it.

Who are you people, and how did you get the government implants out of your brain stems?

I’m sayin’, TV is the dominant culture’s self-image, instruction manual, and church all rolled into one. I must monitor their transmissions! If I don’t, a curious sensation of peace and contentment washes over me, and I start blaming the wrong things, like the weather, or my mother.

Thank you and Amen.  If I didn’t watch TV, what would I have to be mad about?
Be sure to read the rest, it’s (surprise!) fantastic.

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15 Responses to “Twisty does Tee-Vee”

  1. Pinko Punko Says:

    Yeah when she talked about the Paris Hilton burger commercial, all the commenters had no clue what she was talking about. Not one. It was pretty hilarious. I was shocked at the gulf between the bloggo and the bloggee.

  2. midniter Says:

    I’m all about the tv right now, but I’ve also got lots of free time.

  3. Robust McManlyPants Says:

    Does filtering everything through a TiVo count as not watching TV? I swear I don’t watch the ads, anyway…

  4. Adorable Girlfriend Says:

    I take offense to this. I don’t watch TV that much. In fact, I turned it on the other day and was thought to myself, when was the last time I did that?! Some of us are just too busy. I also avoid the middle America thinking by not watching Desperate Housewives. Don’t hate.

  5. blue girl Says:

    I love Twisty — I think she’s an awesome writer. Although I am way too terrified to leave a comment over there.

    I watch a lot less TV than I used to — but, I still watch. I’m the type that *has* to be *in the loop* — I MUST know what’s going on and what everyone’s talking about.

    Hi Midniter! How are ya?

  6. midniter Says:

    I’m….here. My sleep schedule is more out of whack than usual. I guess I should do a post.

  7. Res Publica Says:

    I love watching those Discovery Channel shows about building the world’s biggest “x” (where x = ship, oil platform, skyscraper, suspension bridge, whatever)….freaking awswome. Also, Iron Chef!

    I’m a serious nerd.

  8. blue girl Says:

    I always think about ditching HBO — most times it’s all crud — but, if I didn’t have it — I would never have seen Napolean Dynamite! God, I loved that movie! Have you guys seen it?

  9. Res Publica Says:

    Have I seen it…hahahaha….I heart that movie so hard! I’ve seen it like 26 times! It’s the only reason we keep HBO too, but I’m about to lay down the line with M about HBO, because it’s a freaking rip-off. If we ditch HBO, we could bump our NetFlix subscription up to the next level and still save money. Boyfriend’s all about teh movies.

  10. midniter Says:

    Awww….c’mon, BG…I love Entourage. I’m all about the Jeremy Piven.

  11. blue girl Says:

    I’m not allowed to use NetFlix. My husband says we’re too *irresponsible* just because we tend to return movies *late*. *Every time*.

    He’s suck a stickler!

    As the lead in Nepolean Dynamite would say: “Get out of here! Gosh!”

    I think the Uncle in ND should’ve won an award for that performance….and LaFawnda! Gosh!

  12. Pinko Punko Says:

    I hate Napoleon Dynamite, because I lived that sh*t. When you grow up in momoville, you don’t need to watch it.

  13. almostinfamous Says:

    umm BG, the point of netflix is if you watch movies every weekend. if you aren’t trying to catch up with american movie history in the short time since you got here, then it’s just ok.

    and PP, so sorry bout that 😦

  14. Res Publica Says:

    Blue, NetFlix is MADE for people like you (and me). You can keep the movies for as long as you want….you just don’t get a new one until you send an old one back. So we have a plan where we get two movies at a time. They arrive very quickly, usually the next day, and if we watch them that night and are ready to move on, we just drop them in the prepaid envelopes that come with them and dump them in the mail. Next day, we get the next two movies on our que. Or, we can return one and keep the other one and watch it all week or whatever. Point is, they don’t care, you’ve only got two of their DVDs at any given time, and they’re getting your $14 a month regardless of whether those two disks have been exchanged 20 times this month, or you’ve been sitting on the same two movies (“Battlefield Earth” and “Heartbeeps”) for the past 8 months.

    It’s a completely brilliant business model. I’m only amazed it took so long for someone to come up with it. It seems so obvious in retrospect, but then I guess most really good ideas do.

  15. blue girl Says:

    Thanks for the intel, Res. I’ll give it another go in the a.m. with the Stickler.

    I mean — really — how *hard* is it (what a set up!) to put the dang movies in a pre-paid envelope and walk to the end of the driveway??!!

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