Betty Crocker Points


‘Betty Crocker’ has been a household name for longer than any of us have been around.  Betty is so popular that most Americans know of her and can tell you about their first  love, their Betty Easy Bake Oven brownies.

For those who want to know more, you can read her history here.  According to the website, Betty Crocker points that today litter General Mills products grew out of an Oneida silverware freebie.  After Americans rushed out and bought products ostensibly for the silverware, the point program was birthed to those cute housewives of yore.  Betty and her points became as American as apple pie.

The S and H green stamps tried to take on Betty.  And there were girls who would do it for green stamps back in the day.  (This is according to AG’s mother.  We have no confirmation in text books on that.) As if! Seriously folks, like they could take Betty?  That’s just trash talk for the masses. Not everyone hearts Betty though, despite her superiority.  Nate-the-munchbag had this to say:

Eventually, middle class, good-housekeeping reading, soap-opera watching homemakers will get enough points to purchase a gigantic Betty-Crocker arsenal and will destroy us all… 

(Essentially he’s just pissed because the apron he ordered didn’t come engraved with “My Boyfriend’s Buns are Sweeter” on it after he consumed 200 boxes of Hamburger Helper just for said gift.  If Nate were reading this, AG would offer him a F#*K the Canadian Curling Association t-shirt instead).

Why is AG ranting about this anyway? Oh yeah, in 2006 General Mills announced to its loving public that the program will be ending.  The golden days of something for nothing have ended.  And with that, so goes Betty.

This is an act of agression, ladies and gentleman. For this, AG will no longer purchase General Mills products, including Haagen Dazs.  AG will not give money to Minneappolis (HQ is located there) or the state it resides in and AG will totally go to Trader Joes from here forward because they don’t allow that traitor Betty on their shelves.  Do NOT be fooled, this is just another conspiracy by Bushitler to force Americans to drive their Cheney gas guzzling mobiles to non unionized supermarkets and purchase non trade friendly products.  AG is not having it! Nope.  No way.


12 Responses to “Betty Crocker Points”

  1. Claire Says:

    AG!! I find this to be horrifying!

  2. Chuckles Says:

    I, for one, never trusted Betty Crocker. Her name sounds like Betty Freidan and you know how much I like uhpressing the wimmins.

  3. Adorable Girlfriend Says:

    Claire, I’m glad you’re with me.

    Chuckie, hush up!

  4. mdhatter Says:

    i think Betty screwed her HTML up sometimes too.

  5. Adorable Girlfriend Says:

    You think, or just too busy screwing us.

    Betty is just the rouse in this conspiracy. I’m telling you kids, it’s just a crafty ploy by the Rightards.

  6. almostinfamous Says:

    i like how that image is from frosted cheerios. they’ll protect you from heart disease, but will give you diabetes instead!

  7. YJA Says:

    Can I still buy Honey Nut Cheerios? I really , really, really like them and we never had the Points in Canada.

  8. Adorable Girlfriend Says:

    You can, if you want to support a nutter in the White House. Remember love, Canada has oil and he’s coming to get it!

  9. YJA Says:

    actually we’re more worried about someone coming to get our water. OK no more honey nut cheerios. Is capt’n crunch OK?

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