Just One More Reason to Become a Lesbian



AG has been conducting an experiment.  The results will be posted in bits and pieces as time goes by.  What’s the experiment you say?  Well, AG posted two single ads on Craig’s List.  They were completely true.  They were intentionally kept vague, but gave enough information that a man could get a sense of what AG would be looking for, if AG had been in fact, looking for a man with a date.

Now AG’s single friend, Internet Girl, was pissed.  She said, “How the heck do you get more than 40 real responses without a picture, without stating an age range and without telling anything about your looks?”  It was within 24 hours of posting the ad. (She was a bit jealous).  We all the know the powers of AG. This is not the issue though.

Why were there at least five responses from men who felt the need to tell AG that she should switch to men that are not Jewish is the issue. The best e-mail so far was the little gem below.  Did AG ask for questions?  Does she want a man who caps Can’t?  Or doesn’t question mark after a question? Can she relate to an idiot who sends this kind of an e-mail?  Does he understand what it was like for AG’s grandmother growing up as an outsider of the WASP culture or the grandfather who came as cargo to the United States because he wasn’t going back to Nazi Germany?  How could he?  If he is this dominating in e-mail, do you think it would change in a relationship or get to know these things? 

Why does the man have to be Jewish? You really Can’t relate to  anyone else in the world besides a Jew.

This is what is out there.  These kind of men. This is why my single female friends would rather work 80 hour weeks then put themselves out there.  For what?  For these guys who tell them what they want or need?  Honey, the Pocket Rocket and the Rabbit replaced anything you are selling a long time ago! You aren’t getting AG or any other self respecting Jew with this e-mail.

Moral: Arrogant and forward men suck! 


26 Responses to “Just One More Reason to Become a Lesbian”

  1. madamerouge Says:

    filed under: I am a non-practising lesbian

  2. peter Says:

    Stick with men! And apart from the gross emails from some of the guys, I hope the 40 responses were at least a self-esteem boost, not that you need one!

  3. peter Says:

    Madamerouge is a non-practising soccer mom with a SAAB. Speaking of women who get fed-up with straight men, here’s a video for you:

    I love the lyrics – it’s really cute.

  4. Adorable Girlfriend Says:

    See, now why can’t I just date gay men? I am so Gracie.

    Oh wait, the Architect, the Designer and questionably the Programmer were all gay. The Project Manager was, but his dad would kill him. Well, 2 out of 3 are confirmed. You know, AG is the last step before redemption…

  5. Brando Says:

    “Does she want a man who caps Can’t?”

    LOL at that line.

    The Rabbit reference reminded me of this old joke:

    Why do women need men?

    Because a vibrator can’t mow the lawn.

  6. blue girl Says:


    Res and I would be/are *perfect together* except for the whole Diane Rhem thing….


  7. Pinko Punko Says:

    You don’t just become a lesbian. You posted an ad and now you have all these unwritten “rules” that of course everyone that responds will break so you can make fun of them on the internet.

    Also, just because I hit the shift key accidently once in awhile doesn’t change the fact that everything about this post is kind of in bad taste, and Three B traffics in bad taste, so we know what we are talking about.

  8. Pinko Punko Says:

    We also know what we are tlaking about in case we made that typo in another of our e-mails.

  9. pop renaissance Says:

    “You don’t just become a lesbian.”

    and if anyone would know, it’s pinko.

  10. Chuckles Says:

    Shit, it isn’t like a girl should make any attempt to relate to a man and his situation once in a while. Guys have issues too, we just don’t talk about them all the time.

    PS. How insecure are you?

  11. peter Says:

    It’s true that you “don’t just become a lesbian.” You have to get a bad haircut, be angry, fill your house with vanilla scented candles and cats…….it’s a lot of prep time and work.

  12. Pinko Punko Says:

    Oh peter, lest one be smited by the stereotypewagon, one should be careful what one wields oneself!

    I mean can the softball and bowling jokes be far behind?

    I’m feeling a little Emu today guys, sorry.

    I’m not into the trolling for cobags routine.

  13. Chuckles Says:

    I like bowling. Shit, I am attending a lesbian wedding in June. I lived with a gay man for a year. I get hit on by the gay circulation consultant constantly and I just ignore it. I posted pictures of me taping signs calling Bush a a cobag on a major thorough fare in DC. How much more crap do I need to do to earn my liberal cred?

  14. Adorable Girlfriend Says:

    Chuckie, it’s not about you for once! Goddammit!

    Pinko is just jealous he cannot get a lesbian. And Pinko, like AG doesn’t get depressed. Come on now. Blue only looks good on a few and you and AG aren’t those few. We love you, why the sour face and snappy attitude?

    And Peter, I would be a lipstick lesbian. I am going to become anorexic, then get a face lift and then become a lesbian. The mere fact that I am my age and unmarried has left me concluding that I need to do something…lesbianism is my plan.

    Don’t knock it until you try it!

  15. Pinko Punko Says:

    I just feel that if a real live lesbian came along, they might be saddened by this entire affair.

  16. Adorable Girlfriend Says:

    How so? AG isn’t mocking anyone, nor is she kidding.

    Do you have something to say Pinko? Why are you knocking a woman’s right to be a lesbian?

    Are you one of those patriarchy upholding men who cannot handle when a women has power and doesn’t need a man?

  17. Adorable Girlfriend Says:

    P.S. The extra space was for Pinko!

  18. Brando Says:

    My softball team could use some lesbians.

    And I thought lipstick lesbians only existed in porn? That’s what my wife always tells me.

    Also, I am one of those people who is happy to let women wear the pants. Biologically, it makes sense — why are we supposed to get the snug crotch fit when we have outies, while women wear flowing skirts when they have innies? The Scots were really onto something here.

  19. Adorable Girlfriend Says:

    Oh no, my first lesbian love was lipstick. She was the girlfriend of a friend of mine. Gosh, she was hot! Every now and again I still think of her.

    Let’s not get into biology. I am so sick of that argument. I don’t want any man telling me what to do. The mere fact that men sit around objectifying women makes me ill. The fact they do so and control makes me even sicker.

    I hate straight men! I really, really do.

  20. your judgemental aunt Says:

    I’m with you AG…I would never date a Jew.

  21. Snag Says:

    Marge: Homer, I think he prefers the company of men…

    Homer: Who doesn’t?

  22. Pinko Punko Says:

    AG, you are being a tool.

    End of discussion.

  23. Adorable Girlfriend Says:

    Pinko, it takes one to know one.

    End of discussion for you.

  24. peter Says:

    I just need someone to tell that I’m really sad that jane Jacobs is dead. If you don’t know eho she is, find out. She’ll rock your world.

  25. mdhatter Says:

    Do jewish men find this equal opportunity offense to be more adorable?

    I work with lipstick. Hot.

  26. Adorable Girlfriend Says:

    Oh MD Hatter, love button, don’t go there. Don’t go there.

    AG loves lipstick. Maybe you introduce AG to lipstick hottie?

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