Wacked-out Wednesday

 

  

While sitting waiting for a 3 hour delayed flight last week, this Yenta sitting across from AG spots her school bag.  Sadly, it identifies the university AG attends.  So, she walks up to AG (apparently staring AG down for some time, unbeknownst to AG).  “Are you a lawyer?”  Feel the warmth of her breathe on AG’s face and say that aloud for the kiddies.  (We’ve got a live one).  Gosh, she’s close. And that fucking Pepto Bismol pink track suit is blinding on the eyes. 

 

“No, I am not.” She baits back with “I can tell by the way you study you are either a doctor or lawyer. You must be a doctor then.  My daughter is a lawyer.”  OK, why the fuck does AG care your daughter is a lawyer?  And Mom has a Ph.D. in how people study?  (We all know what AG thinks of the weak who obtain Ph.D.s – great story for another time: AG turns down Harvard and a Ph.D. from UC Santa Barbara. AG’s mother loves that two of her children have done this “to her”). Apparently AG is destined to live on this earth having her thunder stolen first by the twins, then by boyfriends and now finally by fucking children of fucking people AG doesn’t even know.  WTF?  If you are so god damn proud of your 33-year-old lawyer, who you rattled off the 200 schools she went to and none of them impressed AG by the way, then go fucking sell it to your family.  AG neither cares nor is impressed with you, your goofy looking husband or you pseudo important child. Or better yet, tell your story to a therapist or some underpaid retail clerk.  Leave AG alone.  AG doesn’t give a shit if she’s a lawyer, a Laotian porn star or the bitch who shtupped ‘my’ boy while we were “dating”.  Back away slowly from the AG, lady!

Do you think this much hate can get AG her Ambien so she can finally sleep at night? If not, AG is going on the spoon.  The spoon is the defense mechanism for everyone stealing AG’s thunder that AG wasn’t parading around to begin with. (Remember, thugs stole AG’s bag from her car and she lost the nondescript bag she used to carry coursework in).

 

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18 Responses to “Wacked-out Wednesday”

  1. blue girl Says:

    Don’t start taking Ambien, AG! You’ll not only start sleep-eating, you’ll also start sleep-driving! And imagine all those people out on the road in the middle of the night stealing your thunder and you won’t even know it!

  2. butchie Says:

    Sounds like she was making a pass at you. You know what they say- Once you’ve had 70 year old woman, you’re unlikely to go back.

  3. teh l4m3 Says:

    Crimony. She was just a little old lady looking for conversation. Good to know you bit her FUCKING HEAD OFF AG…

  4. almostinfamous Says:

    yeah, AG. real smooth.

    LIKE A BIG STICK O’ BUTTAAH

  5. Adorable Girlfriend Says:

    AG didn’t say anything, teh, teh! AG wrote what she thought. Afterall, we were all wanting to get on the plane and AG didn’t want any trouble.

    Butchie, the saying goes (and I am not saying I approve us such):

    Once you go black, you never come back.

    Now all of you, stop trying to steal AG’s super thunder!

  6. Adorable Girlfriend Says:

    Sorry, us = of. Too little sleep!

    😆

  7. mitzzee Says:

    guess if i’m STARVING and i want that DONUT she is eating on your blog.

  8. Chuckles Says:

    AG needs to get some muscle relaxers so she can tone it the hell down. She is starting to make me look sane to my other personalities.

  9. Adorable Girlfriend Says:

    Your just jealous Chuckie because the voices in my head don’t talk about you.

  10. blue girl Says:

    That picture up there is cracking me up.

    That’s what I’m gonna be next Halloween.

    My hairdo is going to be FANTASTIC! And I will definitely have that look on my face when handing out teh candy.

    😆

  11. Adorable Girlfriend Says:

    You’ll be a lovely Jewish Bubie in all her tacky glory from Flushing.

    I have a classmate from there and it’s all I think when he talks about his Mom.

  12. blue girl Says:

    Her hair totally makes me laugh. But I don’t think it’s only Jewish Bubie’s from Flushing. I have aunts that used to go to the beauty salon once a week and get their hair done like that. All teased up…

    I’m sure I’ve got pictures of them somewhere!

    🙂

  13. YJA Says:

    Shhhh, it’s OK. I’d tell you Jesus loves you but, well you know…

  14. Pinko Punko Says:

    Blue girl should totally go as a blue hair for H-ween, that is if she weren’t already dressed as a back-stabbing chundernozzle.

  15. Adorable Girlfriend Says:

    YJA, you are a naughty, naughty boy! For that, you are coming with Peter to UC’s passover seder next year. Oh yes, the Yenta sisters will treat you “extra” special.

    OOOh, BG! Are you going to take that from Pinko?

  16. fish Says:

    Was she a Laotian porn star?

  17. Adorable Girlfriend Says:

    No, it was Malkin.

  18. fish Says:

    Tomayto/Tomahto

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