Ridiculous Screaming Pissy Drama Queens of The Internet

Stop oppressin' me, feminists!
Hey guy, don’t get mad! That’s just gay vernacular!

Dear Readers, I stepped away from Ye Olden Bloggysphere for a few weeks, and what do I find upon my return but John Aravosis having a giant screaming hissy-fit — again!

John’s original cobagitation has been moved and hidden in a brave display of supercockishness. Fortunately, you can get all the delicious details from Pam, or from Jedmunds, or from Shakespeare’s Sister, or Pinko Punko. Most of these people have been banned from John’s super-liberal Constitutional-defense command center where serious-minded liberal man-heros are defending the chicks from GOP senators and their nefariously sexist assault on the rights of chicks.

The title of the post was cockish enough, but the really smegmatronic part came in the text of the post itself:

“You see, among the far-right wingers now running the Republican party, the concept of actually fighting FOR your freedoms, of actually DYING in the DEFENSE of those freedoms, is nuts. How else to see it when someone like Roberts will send US soldiers to their deaths to defend our freedoms abroad, but then will gladly trade away those freedoms at home in order to avoid getting hurt. Is there any other definition of ‘big girl’ than that?”

Actually, Johnny, there is. I’m not intimately familiar with the details, but it has something to do with two intact x-chromosomes and different naughty bits. You may not have gotten the memo, but one of the great pillars of late 20th century progressive thought and practice has been the notion that the intact chromosomes and different naught bits actually make no essential difference in the possible abilities and actual humanity of the “big girls” in question. The other is that differing levels of pigmentation in the skin are similarly irrelevant.

When called to task by several of the 51% of humans possessing the aforementioned intact chromosomes and non-penile naught bits, Johnny hoists the rainbow flag and assures his readers that it’s just cute gay vernacular. No harm, no foul. The subtext here is that all you breeder bitches need to shut it and stop oppressing the gay boys already.

The Achilles heel in this argument is that no self-respecting gay man would call Senator Roberts “girl”. I call my friends “girl”. I (and, I suspect, most other people) would call Sen. Roberts a “lying asshole”.

Here’s the deal about “girl” in gay life. I have friends with whom I use this term. It’s generally “hey, girl!”, and it’s a way of re-appropriating the patriarchal equation of “homosexuality = femininity = worst thing in the world”. To understand this bit of teh gay vernacular, you have to know that many (if not most) gay men have, at some point in their early lives, been called girly or sissy or feminine by heterosexuals who understand those terms to mean “less than human”. Badly gendered and therefore intolerably flawed.

In the patriarchy, you can’t be anything worse than a girl. For a man to be a girl is to surrender the coherent, centered and privileged agency of manhood and become penetrated, a cunt, an object. In the patriarchy, this is worse than death, the primal fear and root of violence that has wounded and killed so many queer people.

This isn’t a fun topic. It’s painful even to write about. It’s the hard, brutal nexus where sexism and heterosexism sprout from their common root of patriarchy. It is the base of the pillar holding up so much that is terrible and deadly in this world.

So John can just shove the bullshit talk about gay vernacular, because anyone who’s conversant in gay vernacular knows that calling Pat Roberts a girl (and going on to say that being afraid and unpatriotic is the essential definition of “girl”) has got nothing to do with gay vernacular and everything to do with patriarchy. In fact, it’s about three millimeters from straight-up calling the senator a faggot.

This whole thing has put me in a very poor mood. I think it connects to my general disgust with the culture of assholery that seems to prevail in the upper echelons of every sector of our society and across the political spectrum. I don’t know if you have to swear to God on a stack of Bibles that you will be a total cock until the day you die before being admitted to law school or business school, but I’m just sick to death of lawyers and MBA’s and all the rest of our pasty, self-congratulating overlords — people who make nothing and yet somehow rule everything despite the fact that they routinely make massive and public asses of themselves with their inability to shut their braying, bloviating eat-holes.

But that’s another story. The issue here is that if you don’t understand that patriarchy (and racism) actually hurts actual people – and that language is the fertile soil where the roots of patriarchy draw their strength – you need to work on that, and those of us queers who fight patriarchy because we have been harmed by it will thank you to not try to put a pink wig on your patriarchy and call it gay pride.


More unhinged cockishness waving the rainbow flag!

Guys, anybody who isn’t happy, please leave this blog and don’t come back. I’m serious. Get out.

Our Constitution is on life support and you freaks, a very vocal minority of the people who visit this site and comment, have spent over 24 hours worrying about two words in a title, and you’re still obsessed with it. None of us have the time to deal with your weekly fit of hysterics, whether it’s over Katherine Harris’ photo, Cynthia McKinney being a wackjob, commenter Miles being upset that I “made a big deal” about a hate crime that almost killed a gay couple, you being upset that I criticized Howard Dean for his insensitivity to gay issues (which I was proved right on a week later), and on and on and on.

It took me a while to realize it, but there are a minority of my readers who are never going to be happy. Rather than fight our common enemy, you’d rather sit here and beat me up because somehow you get off on that. That’s fine. You’re no longer welcome. Please leave. And spare me the emails about how you used to love the blog. The blog is the same it’s always been. You however have become increasingly nasty and shrill. And in any case, the majority of our readers are normal people who are actuall worried about their country and want to make a difference. Please stop bothering them with your weekly crises.

I choose to spend my time fighting the enemy. You choose to spend your time fighting friends. Well, you do that. On someone else’s blog. You’re no longer welcome here, so get out so the rest of us, the majority of our readers and evoted advocates, can get on with trying to fix this country. JOHN
John Aravosis | 05.20.06 – 3:19 pm | #

God damn those constantly dissatisfied minorities!!

Your Evoted Advocate,

Res Publica


26 Responses to “Ridiculous Screaming Pissy Drama Queens of The Internet”

  1. Pinko Punko Says:


  2. Pinko Punko Says:

    I will say that calling him a “pissy bottom Queen” is like calling him a girl in the bad way, but I know you are being ironic. I hope people will get that because your post is great.

  3. Res Publica Says:

    I believe that the very first line of text after the title addresses your point. It’s intended to be a dose of his own medicine. Don’t make me ban you.

  4. Res Publica Says:

    I changed it out of respect for Pinko.

  5. Pinko Punko Says:

    How did JA get around Anonymouse? I bet it has something to do with how haloscan works. I’m gonna make him have to ban all of Stanford. Feel free to use the Emu pic as well. Just search google images for emu. I don’t know if “ridiculous emu” helps any, but you can try.

  6. Pinko Punko Says:

    You really should get on the banned-wagon too! It is fun.

  7. Res Publica Says:

    I actually haven’t gone to America Blog for a long, long time. He’s been on a glide-path to emuness for a while now, and while I realize that this is like calling Jesus gay at a Young Republicans meeting, I have never really been all that impressed with him or Kos. They seem to be pushing a political coalition that is mostly content-free and consists of aggressive sending-of-money and doing what they say. To which I say: meh.

  8. almostinfamous Says:

    i don’t like kos that much either, but the man built up a serious readership in a really short time, and i respect that. the only reason A-Blog got any of my traffic(and none of my money) was because Atrios linked to it and said go.now!. the site is really poorly designed, seems to be asking for a lot of money for being a blogger site without hosting and the content is, to be unnecessarily polite, nothing you or i couldn’t produce after a month or so hobnobbing among the DC crowd. he is like the brain-dead man’s josh marshall.

  9. blue girl Says:

    First of all, I’m really happy that you’re alive and that your wrote this post. I’m glad that you’re back! I missed you!!

    Second of all, I hate you. You totally missed my birthday.

    For my love/hate attitude here — you can call me a big girl — or a little girl — or whatever kind of girl you want — how’s ’bout a BLUE GIRL who had a birthday of which you were not a part?

    I get this whole language thing that all you guys are talking/writing about here. But, isn’t there just this little thing called….”so what?”

    A stupid, idiotic racist, sexist guy can call me a GIRL any day of the week, and all I’ll do is kick his butt big time and he’ll be dreaming of *girls* in his nightmares.

    I win every time because I do. not. care.

    How ’bout that?

  10. Res Publica Says:

    Hi Blue! I’m really sorry that I missed your birthday, but I hope it was loads of fun! What are you, now, 24? 25?

    John’s original foot-in-mouth post was sort of in the so-what catagory (because hey, we all say stupid things, and I have certainly made misogynist comments before), but when he not only failed to graciously admit error, but lashed out at everyone who pointed out the error, he was clearly begging for a spanking. I figured, what the hell, I’m kinky, I’ll do it!

  11. blue girl Says:



    You. Don’t. Get. Off. The. Hook. That. Easily.

    Go read my post from May 6-ish. There’s a little paragraph for you!! I cracked myself up writing it, at least.

    Yes, that dude is quite the drama queen at times. I was thinking today — he’s still bitching at people who didn’t get his whole picture with Katherine Harris thing. Duh!

    Oh whatever. I just think when everyone freaks about about that sort of thing it really plays into the whole “I’m a victim” storyline. Am I insensitive even saying that? I’ve run across assholes my whole life and I couldn’t care less. (In the end, of course — lots of times they hurt my feelings) but, really — isn’t it better to know you’re right and live knowing that you’re right? And keep pushing forward knowing you’re right?

    Oh, and by the way — I’m 29! Just like you.

  12. Res Publica Says:

    okay, I’ll try to wade back through the 6000 pictures of some plant growing in your back yard and find the paragraph for me.

  13. Res Publica Says:

    Okay, I found it. Nerd.

    I have no excuses for not blogging. I just don’t have much to say lately. Maybe I’ll start taking pictures of my plants.

  14. Adorable Girlfriend Says:

    It’s not like AG has anything to say. It’s just about posting for the peeps.

  15. Pinko Punko Says:

    AG has been very entertaining lately, and much more of a snugglepants. I think the removal of possessed prints from lemony/lomeiny (on Lucky Wah nights) helped a lot.

    I am also going to come right out and say it. Do Chris in Paris/Joe in DC really exist? They only really post links to stories and never EVER have their own voice. Also, when stories pop up like this, they never seem to have a take. I think they don’t exist. Let me rephrase: my respect for All Hail King Emu has reached its nadir/Nader, and I would not be surprised if his scam of a site only had one lanolin coated, beplumped on lobster elitist fop of a blogger.*

    *The Capt. made me write that. I don’t think I am really that mean. I kind of want to know what makes him tick and what could push someone so far over the edge that they aren’t savvy enough to defuse such a ridiculous situation.

  16. blue girl Says:

    YOU? Don’t? Have? Anything? To? Say?

    You’ve been gone so long.

    Did you know my new word is *Pshaw?*

    So, I answser that first sentence at the top of my comment with:


    PP’s right. That situation could have been diffused in one second. I don’t get it.

    How’d he get to be such an all-powerful blogger anyway?

    Pinko got yelled at across the Internets for using (inventing?) the word “Cobag!” while you were gone.

    It was fun!!


  17. Res Publica Says:

    Blue: I saw that. I guess there’s no pleasing some people, but I love “cobag” and intend to continue using it with relish and abandon. when I’m not just straight-up calling people fucking assholes, that is. I really don’t have anything to say about my absence. Work has been really busy, but when is it not? The truth is that I’m just feeling really bitter and kind of hopeless about politics.


    That totally made my day. I have also had similar thoughts about all his fabulous friends all over the world. Maybe they are real, though. Lord knows there are enough mouthy AmeriCobags spread all over the world, and people like him love the fuck out of each other. Almost as much as they love rubbing nipples with Katherine Harris.

    AG does indeed bring it for the peeps, for which I am extremely grateful. I’m too lazy to type all those words unless I really have something I want to say.

  18. blue girl Says:

    “The truth is that I’m just feeling really bitter and kind of hopeless about politics.”

    I hear ya. Hence and therefore all the Pink Peony blogging of late.

  19. plover Says:

    Res: You go, girl!

    Well, someone had to say it.

    Ok, you’re right, it wasn’t really necessary. I’m just surprised no one else said it.

    Hmm… “serious-minded liberal man-heros”? Let’s see: Se-Mi LiM-Hers, semi-limers?

    Which makes their political counterparts “semi-comers”? And those would be, um, Andrew Sullivan? J. Edgar Hoover? (And ever notice how you never see those two in the same place at the same time? Well, yeah, of course that’s irrelevant and an unfair comparison, but sorting out the two of them in a dark room, however easy, is still an unenviable task I’ll leave to someone else. And while we’re on the subject, aren’t Hoover and Roy Cohn the real proof of teh International Gay Conspiracy Thingie to convert everyone? I mean, if they could get to America’s G-Men… “Vhich sztandz for girlie-men!” Shut up, Arnie, Res can make his point without your help.)

    And here Res was probably expecting that I’d try to point out how John “I can so compete with libertarians on ugly web design” Aravosis is really misunderstood, and if he had just heard a comment JA had made on C-SPAN last year his real agenda would be obvious. But no, I just had a few questions:

    1) When is Res getting his picture taken with Katherine Harris?

    2) What is it the people around here are getting up to with emus? (And can other flightless birds be substituted in a pinch?)

    3) Res, were you? (Pupating, I mean.)

    I’m just feeling really bitter and kind of hopeless about politics

    Yeah, when the best thing going is the spectacle of the “we need people to work for slave wages and maintain our peculiar institution” and the “ack! scary brown people! get the disinfectant!” branches of American racism gnawing on each other’s entrails while the Democrats who aren’t actively engaged in the gnawing mostly stand around looking faintly puzzled, it’s not exactly a feast for the human spirit.

    And if plants don’t do it for you, you could always post pictures of food. I get the impression there are any number of commenters here who will promise to heckle your dishes and photographic technique. Really.

  20. Res Publica Says:

    Plover! Best comment in ages! And possibly the first mention of J. Edgar Hoover at the Republic of Dogs, ever! What is up with JA having ten billion readers and all this ad revenue and still running some shitty free Blogger site with no template or anything?

    1) I might take a picture dressed up like Katherine Harris, but that’s about it.

    2) Go ask Pinko about the emu thing. It’s his weird-ass idea….some part of his never-ending quest to come up with a disparaging term that won’t upset Ann Bartlow. I just call people “fucking assholes” and call it a day.

    3) Pupating….umm…I don’t know what that is, but it sounds nasty. So no.

    I need to start posting more pictures of food. I have some dishes that I think will meet Pinko “Martha Stewart” Punko’s approval, but my photography still sucks it. Oh well. IT’S MY BLOG, AND IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT, YOU GUYS CAN TOTALLY LEAVE! Sorry, I think I accidentally channeled John Aravosis for a minute. Maybe I’ll start growing orchids! Nah. My mom does that. They’re waaaaaay too finicky for me, and I’m not interested in growing anything that I can’t eat.

  21. Monday Morning Quarterback at Three Bulls! Says:

    […] 1)  No news yet on my job application.  Chuckles promised me telepathically that he would cobagitate something somethign to do with their DC headquarters.  Clif hits the CEI deservedly hard here. 2) Dust up at AmeriCOBAG, er AMERICABlog.  Site owner put in cold storage, replaced by mind-controlling Emu.  See all Emu related stories here.  We got banned from 3 IP addresses, but we made our points.  We wish teh l4m3 had been around, he would have gone crazy until banned.  I think he could have set a record.  Res P. comes out of the igloo of seclusion to drop some bombs on this issue. jedmunds is in fine form here. 3) Gregor had awesome Emu story. […]

  22. Femster Says:

    Hi! Thanks for the thoughtful commentary on whatever the #@$% is going on with Americablog! What creeped me out is how so many long-time, regular bloggers there registered their dissent, including some of the best old standbys, yet John Aravosis can’t even take a pause or perform damage control! Aravosis did delete and ban large swaths of bloggers and lost many great voices for it!!! Several of my favs over the past years like “oddjob” and “Jay in Oregon” got banned. Unbelievable. And all the while as Americablog promises to combat infringement of First Amendment rights!– Ha!

    I also think it hurt people’s view of gays (especially since John holds himself out as their foremost representative). Those of us who aren’t gay don’t need more reasons to question the gay perspective.

    Sure, as Blue Girl suggests above, you can ignore it, but why should you on a liberal blog that professes to defend Democratic ideals? Are women not a critical pillar of the American Democratic community??? Would gay men even get out of the political starting gate without our votes?–hardly.

    Language leads to presumptions, then to actions, every time. Hitler’s Third Reich began with propoganda to smear Jews in common language & publications: “XXX like a Jew” etc. and eventually Germans became so desensitized that the large scale torture and genocide of Jews (fellow, law-abiding citizens) occurred!

    Sure, words are nothing until they cumulate into prejudice, sexism, and related action. Apparently, John’s “harmless” slurs on women have now given him the temerity to tell them to all get the “sand out of their vagina.” And then he deleted and banned all objectors with a viscious attitude.

    It wasn’t just the words, ‘Big Girl,’ repeatedly (3X) and clearly used as an insult in a national “liberal” blog, the greater offense was the condescension displayed toward his readers. But the greatest offense of all was his effort to ignore it and then beg for donations so quickly after the fall out. I guess us women as such “big girls” that he doesn’t even want our money.

    Finally, thanks for demonstrating that John Aravosis does NOT speak for all gay men by disregarding the concerns of women and using their name as a slur.

  23. blue girl Says:

    Femster, strictly speaking — I totally agree with you — but, I think he used it the way all of us misuse language from time to time to make some point.

    Like if I called Res is a Big Girl and then he told me I had huge Cahones. (Which he totally is and which I totally do)

    His HUGE mistake was acting like such an *ss when the comments started pouring in. He could have diffused the sitation in one second flat, but chose instead to act like a Big Baby!

    I’ve been pondering other phrases that are said quite often.

    “Have I lost my cotton-pickin’ mind?” — I would assume that’s got racist undertones.

    Etc. I try not to be insensitive.

    I read a comment somewhere over the weekend that “Rule of Thumb” is racist….how is that racist?

    Oh! And if you *really* want to hear a gay man speak his mind — never miss a day here when Res is binge blogging!!

    He is THE Blog Queen of the Internets! (Was that wrong of me to say?)

  24. Res Publica Says:

    If by “wrong” you mean “causing me to flip you off so hard that I break my hand”, then yes.

  25. {the right tools for the job} at The Republic of Dogs Says:

    […] “To even pretend to reclaim a word, you have to use it differently.” That pretty much sums it up, doesn’t it? That’s the point I tried to make way back in the day when John Aravosis called Sen. Roberts (R-Kansas) a “big girl” and then tried to call it gay culture and reappropriation. As Zuzu says later in the same post, If you use a sexist slur as a sexist slur, you are using a sexist slur as a sexist slur. You are not commenting on the use of a sexist slur as a sexist slur. You are not lampooning the use of a sexist slur as a sexist slur. Finally, you are not subverting the use of a sexist slur as a sexist slur. You’re using it in order to imply that women are hateful by virtue of being women. To the extent that your unregenerate sexism makes you unfashionable, you are reactionary, not transgressive. A man who uses this word in this way is a misogynist assberet. A gay man who uses this word in this way is a gay misogynist assberet. A leftist who uses this word in this way is a leftist misogynist assberet. A feminist who uses this word in this way is a feminist misogynist assberet and also an oxymoron. It’s really not that complicated. […]

  26. digital innovation Says:

    digital innovation…

    Value source for digital innovation….

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