Adoption: That’s a Good Thing


A colleague is adopting a child from Russia. She and her husband have no children of their own and have decided they would like a family.  Adoption is not an easy process.  They’ve been going through it for the past year and a half.  They flew to Russia in September thinking they were going to bring him home  after the holidays.

Here we are in May, and it looks like it may happen in June.  The Medical Director and I planned a lunch today to celebrate her potential new son.  We have been cryptic about it and invited only a select few because it is possible her court date can still be canceled.  It’s been hard and we just wanted to give her a calm, but wishful send off.  No need to cause angina if it doesn’t work out, right?

We arrived at the Mexican restaurant and unfortunately AG got screwed by not getting to sit next to the oncologist from Israel.  Since we collaborate on projects and he is slated to become AG’s manager, a bit of bonding was desired.  Unfortunately, AG got pushed to the window seat at the end of the table.  No dice for sitting with Doc.  Oh, but great seat for the circus of mouth fools.

Pushy McPusherson, Ph.D., sat next to the mom-to-be (MTB).  She asked to see pictures of her potential new son.  She showed us the most beautiful blue eyed blonde boy.  The pictures were from when she and her husband went to meet him in the orphanage last year. After viewing the pictures, Administrative McDunce says to MTB, “My friend adopted a baby from the Philippines.  Worse thing she ever did.  The orphanage was terrible. Just horrible.”  What does MTB say to that?  What can you say?

Moving right along… Dr. McPusherson waits a few moments in silence, while seated between MTB and the Russian Vet at the office who plans to help MTB with teaching her son Russian.  Without warning, she blurts out, “So, what’s the story with the kids parents?”  Nice. Real nice.  MTB is uncomfortable and says so.  She then proceeds to tell us how her son almost lit the house on fire last year and that he’s pretty much is on his last stop before reform school. Nice, just what a MTB wants to hear — reform school stories.

The final faux pas is when the remaining physician at the table gives MTB a gift.  We discussed no gifts because we don’t want the pressure on MTB if this does not work out.  What does she give her in a Trader Joe’s brown bag, no less?  Used books that she no longer wants.  You know, for the plane ride.  Nice idea and good for the environment, but kind of tacky.  AG had a half eaten chicken salad from lunch, should it have been offered?


AG walked back to the office with NJ Girl.  Both of us were stunned from the trial of errors.



8 Responses to “Adoption: That’s a Good Thing”

  1. Res Publica Says:

    That picture scares the crap out of me. Very 2001:

    “My God, it’s full of cobags!”

  2. blue girl Says:

    Good luck to MTB!! I hope everything works out for her and her new family.

    Nothin’ but love for AG over here at RoD.


  3. jennifer Says:

    OT, but in terms of Immigration, adopting a kid from overseas is one of the easiest things you can do. Now by easiest, I mean “least likely to be fucked up by Immigration, requiring 10 phone calls to customer service, who tell you to go to the local office, and 4 visits to the local office, who tell you to call customer service, and 3 letters to your senator, who finally tells you the case was for some reason transferred in 1997 to the National Benefits Center and stuck in a room with a bunch of I-765’s from 2002 and forgotten about until that new guy fell asleep and knocked over the box”.

  4. Chuckles Says:

    I don’t mean to be a cobag and all, but aren’t there a few kids left in our American system that could use a good home?

    I guess you don’t hear about them as much. Talking about somebody who is adopting a kid from Outer Mongolia is way more interesting than talking about somebody who is adopting a kid from Inner Detroit, I guess.

    Not that this is meant in any way to diminish your colleague’s efforts. My aunt and uncle adopted a couple of russkies about ten years ago. They’re good kids. I will see them again this summer!

  5. Adorable Girlfriend Says:

    I hear that. It’s much harder I think in America. At least that’s my sense. I have a classmate and dear friend who has two from PA. They aren’t biological brother and sister, but they look it! They are great. I don’t know how hard it was for them and why they went that route.

    Unfortunately, I am rarely close enough to someone to ever feel comfortable enough to ask that. It’s a matter of choice and I leave it be. I figure that’s far less offense than say, war and hatred of women.

    We all have to select our battles. Great points Jennifer and Chuckles. Thanks!

  6. Chuckles Says:

    Yeah, I wouldn’t be willing to ask either. That is about as personal as asking how a person at work likes their sex.

  7. Res Publica Says:

    Oh, are you not supposed to do that?

    My bad.

  8. Chuckles Says:

    For future reference, apparently my sex switch has gotten stuck on “No thanks, even though we’re naked in all, I’ll walk home.”

    What the hell.

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