Eat my meat

Have you all seen Burger King’s latest pathetic attempt at tricking people into eating their shitty food? Not the commercials with that profoundly disturbing plastic man stare at people in various situations where normal people would have run screaming from what is obviously a masked serial killer.

Run away!

No, not him.

No, this ad take cobaggery to a whole new level. This puts one in mind of ancient blasphemies fearfully hinted at by the Mad Chemist Pinko Punko in the deranged pages of the Chundermuffinomicon.

I refer, of course, to the “Manthem“.

Dear Reader, there is nothing about this ad that I do not hate with every fiber of my mortal being and every spark of my eternal soul. This ad should have been called “backlash”, and the chorus of the song should be something like “We’re gonna put all the bitches back in their place, hopefully before we die of heart disease!” This ad sucks it in a big, BIG way.

I don’t really have anything interesting or non-shrill to add to the discussion of this ad, which you can read here, or here, or here. There’s not much point to a feminist analysis of this ad, because it’s not like there’s some occulted patriarchy that needs to be teased out. This is an openly anti-feminist assault ad. It shows us a corporate America that’s about 3 weeks away from showing 5 frat brothers sharing a tasty stuffed-crust pizza while they take turns banging some passed-out co-ed. It is repulsive, and its reception shows how repulsive this society has become.

All I really have to ad is something that no one else seems to have noticed. To whit:

I'm so manly I shape my own eyebrows!

These manly men appear to have been attacked by a hoard of angry drag queens wielding hot eyebrow wax!

It's fun to stay at the YMCA!!

If they wanted to display manly men casting off the smothering labia of oppression, they should have got some guys who look like they don’t spend their evenings at the Paper Moon doing covers of Cher’s greatest hits for dollar tips.

Just sayin’.

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20 Responses to “Eat my meat”

  1. blue girl Says:

    Little inside ad scoop here that may or may not be relevant.

    Burger King is an AWFUL account. Most fast food places are — anyway — they were so bad that agencies wouldn’t even take their calls.

    Anyway — this new little hot shop (can’t remember where they’re located) has the account — and you can really tell that they are trying EVERYTHING to get the numbers up.

    Sell-outs!

    Have you seen the one where the Dad Whopper is talking to the Kid Jr. Whopper? Keep your eyes open for it. It’s the one where Kid Jr. Whopper has a blonde girl over — and the Dad pops in — and as the Dad and Son Whoppers are talking, take a gander at the blonde girl. She’s got her head strategically positioned down by his, ahen, pickle — if you know what I mean.

    ALSO!

    Have you seen the “If you poke it, you own it” Bud Light spots? The Man Rules?

    Unbelievable.

    We live in a shameless world.

  2. Res Publica Says:

    Man LAWS. The Bud Light commerical features assholes discussing a new Man LAW. (And really, is there any other kind of law than The Man’s Law?)

    That is interesting background. I have seen the Bud commercial, and nearly choked to death the first time I heard “you poke it, you own it” on national TV. Now, where are the pearl-clutching decency police at the FCC? I guess it’s cool to totally degrade women on national TV, as long as you don’t show their titties.

  3. blue girl Says:

    I’m not sure the pearl clutchers get it. I explained it to my mom yesterday, without explicitly explaining WHY it was so incredibly unbelievable and there was silence on the other end.

    I think it may go over some heads.

    No pun intended.

  4. Pinko Punko Says:

    They just keep pushing the boundaries. This is really the same stuff they ahve been doing forever, but in out cartoon world, over the top is the new teh funny. I blame the Simpsons (not exactly). People only exist in live action sterotyped cartoons now. I think it is funny that a genre that originally poked fun at conceptions now gives birth to them. Meaning, in our CGI insane world, everything must be incredibly over the top and ridiculous to make a point. No one could get anyone’s attention unless they ply the endless and age-old tropes of men eat meat and chicks cut men’s dicks off. It fucking sucks.

  5. Res Publica Says:

    men eat meat and chicks cut men’s dicks off

    And wax their eyebrows off, apparently.

  6. Phronk Says:

    Never seen that ad here. Maybe I’m reading too much into it…but isn’t it making FUN of men? People are saying it’s anti-feminist…but I thought its over-the-topness made it more feminist than not.

  7. Res Publica Says:

    I think it’s more of a piece with the emerging genere of backlash advertising (ie, the “you poke it, you own it” Bud light ad.

  8. Brando Says:

    This is why everyone should eat at Culver’s. Best. Fast Food. Evar. And no shitty ads. If you guys haven’t had a Butterburger, stick a shiv in one of these BK drones, steal his car, and get to the Blue-and-White slice of heaven.

    I also don’t like how we’ve gotten to a point where exaggertion=funny. It’s a great ingredient, but it’s like calling a chocolate chip a cookie.

  9. Chuckles Says:

    HOLY CRAP I LOVE CULVERS!

    THE MEGA ENORMO GIGANTA BURGER IS THE BEST!1!! THEY GRILL A WHOLE COW FOR YOU AND SLAP IT ON A BUN AND YOU EAT IT!1!!

    As for the exaggeration equals funny bits, I miss my Britcoms. Monty Python was both over the top and under your table.

    Incidentally, I would get under Carol Cleveland’s table any day. She was Zoot and many other characters.

    “So remember when you’re feeling very small and insecure
    How amazingly unlikely is your birth.
    And pray that there’s intelligent life somewhere up in space,
    Because there’s bugger all down here on Earth.”

    Genius. I would know.

  10. Res Publica Says:

    Lord, Brando, that sounds so good. Also, you had me at “stick a shiv in one of these BK drones and steal his car”. I would totally kill someone and rip of their car for food.

  11. Adorable Girlfriend Says:

    I cannot believe AG has to be the one to say this, but boys! Let’s not suggest that killing people is OK for food or for joking.

  12. midniter Says:

    Hey Chuckles…have you tried one of their concrete shakes? Mmm mmm good.

  13. almostinfamous Says:

    i lurve the meaning of life. ALL of it. the part that i heart the hardest has to be the crimson permanent assurance 🙂

  14. Kevin Wolf Says:

    I heard about these commercials on the blogs before I ever one of them. As a man, I’m mortified by the sheer idiocy of them.

    It is interesting how the ideal image of men is changing to that so-called metrosexual, hairless-wonder type at the same time that these manly men ideas are being increasingly promoted. These commercials exist solely to exploit the confusion created by these conflicting “types” of (media-created) men.

  15. Res Publica Says:

    Kevin, I think you’ve exactly nailed “metrosexuality”, which has been making me throw up a little in my mouth since the very first time I heard the term. And people so willingly embrace these bullshit market-segment-based identities. “Oh hey, I use moisturizer, I must be a totally new kind a human! Ecce, Metrosexual!!” Barf, barf, barf.

  16. Chuckles Says:

    I took one look at the metro-style and I said, yeah, I am never shaving my chest or waxing my shoulders or brows. BUT I MUST HAVE THAT SHIRT! Ha ha.

    I do love the Culver shakes and if I can get out to Wisconsin this summer, I am definitely hitting every Culver’s I see. And the DQ in Two Rivers because it is tradition. I will have to regrow my mohawk for that in honor of tradition once again.

    The Crimson Permanent Assurance is great, especially the part later in the movie when the guys in the boardroom are discussing the soul in terms of market research.

  17. robola Says:

    Culver’s is heart-clogginly fantastic! It’s a shame it’s too far away from where I live to eat there very often (maybe that’s a good thing considering the chunks of berry you can get in the milkshakes).

    BG, The Burger King ad agency is Crispin Porter Bogusky, or something to that effect. They did the new volkswagen ads with one of the nihilists from the Big Lebowski and I forget what else. Maybe the Miller Light ads, but I don’t know… Anyway, I think for as much as their ads appear desperate, and I don’t disagree with the Manthem lameness, they also have this weird sort of quasi-subversiveness to them that makes them stand out. Regardless of how good they are, the company is getting people to talk about them and thats what they’re going for. I also read that for Volkswagen, they had the company resurrect the Rabbit brand name, which many considered to be a terrible decision to bring back, but perhaps it’ll work based on whatever ads they’ll have.

    I read one article in a friend’s advertising magazine and this what I pick up 🙂

  18. Chuckles Says:

    I thought the VW ads with Peter Stormare(Uli Klunkel/Karl Hungus/The Nihilist Guy) were pretty funny. That car isn’t hybrid, so I won’t buy one, but whatevs.

    My favorite Culver’s moment was at 3 AM and this guy in my fraternity had gone on a run for those of us who weren’t getting any after our formal and he comes back with my burger that is two feet in diameter. We sat there eating and drinking shots of the only thing we could find which happend to be Silk soy milk. We were drinking shots because they were the only glasses we could find. So we’re sitting there and I am lecturing my friend on how he is a dumbfuck for not telling his date how he felt and how he could be sticking it in right now. Aaaaaah good times.

    I guess you had to be there, cause the whole thing was really funny. Especially the parts about the g-spot.

  19. Res Publica Says:

    at 3 AM and this guy in my fraternity had gone on a run for those of us who weren’t getting any after our formal and he comes back with my burger

    BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAA

    I totally have a porno that starts like that!

  20. AVSME Says:

    But here are some pretty compelling pro-meat messages.
    http://www.cafepress.com/antivegetarian

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