Omen…of what?

I saw The Omen a couple of nights ago.  I wish someone would make a horror movie that’s actually frightening, as opposed to one that makes you jump a couple of times by making a really loud sound when someone jumps out of a closet or something.  Cheap, cheap, cheap.

The kid: not scary (unless by “scary” you mean “begging for a serious spanking”).

Large dogs: not scary, unless you’re made of meat or trying to escape from East Germany or something.

Some dude wearing a red robe and a goat skull: not scary if you have seen any horror movies before, ever.  Or if you went to a Southern Baptist youth group where they taught you about the satanic messages recorded backwards in metal albums.

Mia Farrow: Scary, but not the way they intended.

Political Antichrist: Super-not-scary.

What could possibly happen in the political realm that we have not already experienced?  What new horror could be concocted?  Our contemporary horrors (Darfur, Guantanamo) are brutal, but not new.   Nothing that hasn’t already been done in the twentieth century under the auspices of the great totalitarian movements.    We know about entire societies plunged into terror and madness and death. We already know about plagues and famine and world-destroying fire.  The politics of the western world are substantially post-apocalyptic in this regard.

That’s why The Omen isn’t scary.   If removing the cataract of impending catastrophe from the political horizon was simply a matter of finding one evil little bastard and sticking him with some cross-shaped knives, we’d have done it.  Moreover, we’d be rejoicing that – for once, and against all history and experience – the line between good and evil ran between human hearts, rather than through them.  For once, it would take only courage for the good to triumph.  Unfortunately, we know better.


6 Responses to “Omen…of what?”

  1. almostinfamous Says:

    the only new horrors(to the world) is large scale nucular warfare. or maybe an alien invasion.

    btw, the original omen was way creepy. everything seemed really really evil.

  2. YJA Says:

    but did you think Steel Magnolias was scary?

  3. Res Publica Says:

    Yes, because I have horrible recurring nightmares that I am being consumed by Julia Roberts’ gigantic maw. Also, Shirley MacLaine is a nightmarish demon from the ancient world, before which all sensible persons flee.

  4. Kevin Wolf Says:

    It does indeed seem like a useless exercise in remakes. And I hear they use contemporary footage (9/11, Katrina) which is too cynical for me. This kind of pop horror can’t support that sort of weight.

    Absolutely agree on Julia Roberts. I don’t understand the attraction. She’s scarier than two Damiens.

  5. blue girl Says:

    My son totally did a pefectomundo Damien imitation once when he was like, 15 months old and in the bath tub.

    He peered at me in such an evil manner because I had to wash his hair, well, I can’t even explain what it was like.


    AIF’s right. The original Omen was scary.

    I’m sorry your movie-going experience was so disappointing.

    I loved Steel Magnolias! I loved the scene where Sally Field freaks at the cemetary. I’ve watched that movie 9 million times just cuz of that one scene.

    Also, Shirley MacLaine is a nightmarish demon from the ancient world, before which all sensible persons flee.

    Res, have you lost your mind? I love her!

    I guess we’re not so perfect for each other after all.


  6. Res Publica Says:

    Well okay, maybe she’s not a demon. But definitely some sort of troll or gnome.

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