Insecurity

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Taking the lead from Bossy, the following was in a local pape in the “Ask Dog Lady” section:

Dear Dog Lady,

My boyfriend of three months recently got a Golden Retriever puppy. I feel as though he cares about her more than me. In fact, I jokingly said to him that I am second to his dog and he completely agreed with me. I don’t know what to do. I care about him and his puppy a lot. I don’t want to risk losing him. Do I tell him how I fell? Am I overacting?

Diana

Wow, THREE whole months!

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19 Responses to “Insecurity”

  1. mdhatter Says:

    yes, yes you should immediately inform your boyfriend of your neurotic needyness and degradation at the hands (paws) of canis familiaris.

    Then maybe tell him you’re pregnant. That’s bound to keep him around at least a few more days.

  2. Adorable Girlfriend Says:

    MDhatter, I tried to e-mail about the weekend Chuckles is coming. I will try sending it again because I may have had the address wrong.

  3. Michael Bains Says:

    I think she should give him a taste of his own medicine and get a cat. A nice friendly Siamese.

    With claws, of course.

    {-;

  4. Smashed Says:

    I thought that this was a Republic of Dogs!

    Where’s the compassion for the dog in all of this! That Golden Retriever is a pawn, caught in emotional currents he’s only dimly aware of! Poor dog’ll grow up thinking all families are like this! I say we inist that family counseling be entered into immediately, or we’ll call in the ASPCA!

  5. Adorable Girlfriend Says:

    I think the truth lies somewhere been Michael and Smashed’s comments. The dog is a total pawn for her insecurity, that much is clear.

  6. Yosef Says:

    I agree with Smashed. At the very least, the guy and girl who have been together for 3 months should stay together and at least pretend they love each other until the dog goes away to college. Who knows, they may even rekindle that flame that burned so fiercely that first night in Senor Frogs in Cancun. They were all soaked in foam, drinking upside down margarita shooter out of test tubes that the hot waitresses were walking around with. He had stripped down to his boxers, because he saw on MTV that’s how you’re supposed to do it on Spring Break. She was still drenched from the Wet T-shirt contest she had entered – and sadly, lost – only an hour before. As he walked up to her carrying a delicious, lust-inducing Irish Car Bomb in one hand, and a Jager Bomb that was bitter enough to make your lips pucker up just… so in the other hand, she felt the water from her T-Shirt drip down to her thighs. She suddenly realized that he would be able to see everything through her t-shirt, yet for some strange reason, this didn’t bother her. She took the Jager Bomb forcefully from his left hand and thrust the lip of the glass to her own lips, letting the bitter liquid slide over her tongue and down her throat. “Let’s dance,” he whispered in her ear – or maybe he yelled, but she couldn’t tell the difference as the rhythms of the bass and drums in that new Pussycat Dolls song rushed over her body in a wave of sensuous warm pounding. She reached for his hand and let him lead her out on the dance floor. As they danced slowly to the romance of the Black-Eyed Peas’ “My Humps”, the foam began to fall over them again. Suddenly, the hot waitresses were there with more shooters. Shooter is red. Shooters in green. Shooters in purple blue yellow orange. What were they? Were they ancient forms of aphrodisiacs? Of course! That was why she was feeling this way about the guy who she had once sworn to never date. As he bent over to kiss her, she hesitated, but only for a moment. She knew at once that this was true love, for there was no other explanation a woman of 19 years could have feelings this strong – especially after drinking a case of beer, 6 liquor drinks, and 8 shots in one day. “I know I’ll love him forever,” she thought to herself, “as long as he puts me before any four-legged animals, that’s all I ask.”

  7. Kevin Wolf Says:

    Yosef, your should either feel deeply ashamed or post more.

    Lots more.

  8. YJA Says:

    maybe the guy’s just calling her a bitch in code?

  9. Yosef Says:

    I was thinking that I should start writing a type of fan fiction for the people that AG finds in the columns of her newspapers.

  10. Res Publica Says:

    Yosef, when I told you how I met my boyfriend, I asked you to keep it to yourself.

  11. Chuckles Says:

    Damn AG, god forbid someone actually care for another human being somewhere on this planet. Just because it has only been three months doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt to be second classed like she/he was or even that his/her feelings are valueless.

    On the other hand, there are much classier ways of telling a lingering relationship that it is over. If I was dating someone and they said that I was second in affection to a canine/feline in a serious manner, then that girl would be receiving a one way ticket to dumpsville. Unless she was really, really hot. Like solar radiation burns on my ass hot. Like make you spooge your pants from beyond visual range hot.

    Or if it was within the first month. After the second month of dating has finished, if I was still second to a non-human, non-arachnid then I am Audi TT, G.

  12. butchie Says:

    yes, yes you should immediately inform your boyfriend of your neurotic needyness and degradation at the hands (paws) of canis familiaris.

    Then maybe tell him you’re pregnant. That’s bound to keep him around at least a few more days

    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !

  13. Adorable Girlfriend Says:

    Do you mean I should stop telling guys I am pregnant just to get them to stay with me?

  14. Res Publica Says:

    Has it ever worked before?

  15. Adorable Girlfriend Says:

    Oh Res, you’d be surprised what works when you are AG.

  16. sarah Says:

    I’m surprised people are joking about this when obviously that poor girl is about to get dumped for a dog!! After 3 months of happiness, it’s just like a man to throw away the best thing that ever happened to him! If I was her, I’d lose some weight, wear more make-up and start putting out more (and pretend to be pregant, you joke, but it works). Take attention away from that bitch!

  17. Brando Says:

    Yosef, holy crap, that was some commentin’!

    And thank God I’m already married.

  18. mdhatter Says:

    I am owned by a 9 year old Gordon Setter. He does come first, my GF wouldn’t have it any other way. She’s independant, he is not.

    and no, the pregnancy thing doesn’t work.

  19. dasc Says:

    Yosef, I wish I could write like you.

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