Male = Pig!


AG is meeting with a new client today. It’s a great client in the sunshine state. He’s a nice Jewish boy (UC should worry) who treats elderly cardiac patients. While instructing the nursing staff on data capture, a male patient of about 65 years strolls by AG’s office. The nurse says,

“Where are you going?”

Patient replies:

“To check out the blonde.”

Sorry, don’t care if you are dying this very moment or you’re old or you think it’s a compliment or whatever goes through your pea brain. You are not excused for calling AG “the blonde” or for checking her out, you pig!

This is the final straw. AG is off men! UC, I am going to leave you for a cute little lipstick lesbian who sports a perky smile.


28 Responses to “Male = Pig!”

  1. dasc Says:

    Can I watch?

  2. almostinfamous Says:

    old people = creepy.

    i mean, i love grandma and all, but goddamn if they didn’t live in some fucked up times

  3. Chuckles Says:

    AG loves the attention.

  4. YJA Says:

    In Quebec slang for girlfriend in “MY BLONDE”. So I guess you shouldn’t move to Quebec.

    PS Will your new girfriend be a blonde?

  5. Adorable Girlfriend Says:

    Dasc, You are not only a pig, you are a leper too. I’m telling lasc.

    AIF, I agree! I heart heart my grammie.

    Chuckie, post to follow on that. Now, hush.

    YJA, AG hearts Montreal and the Hilton Bonaventure. So far, no blondie comments while visiting. And yes, AG adores blondes. Hopefully she’ll have an interesting name like “Hope or Tabitha”. Whatever it is, AG will call her it respectfully. It certainly will most definately not be “the blonde”.

  6. teh l4m3 Says:

    Me in the lobby: “Hey, did that blonde chick in a lab coat just push some geezer’s wheelchair off the balcony? Like, again?”

  7. Adorable Girlfriend Says:

    teh teh, if that wasn’t so cute, AG would be banning you for calling her a “chick”.

  8. Kevin Wolf Says:

    I’m not risking a comment and the resulting wrath.

  9. fish Says:

    You are not going to get men to behave better if you start talking about lipstick lesbians. Especially blond ones. Just sayin.

  10. Chuckles Says:

    I’m with fishman, AG.

  11. Res Publica Says:

    UC, I am going to leave you for a cute little lipstick lesbian who sports a perky smile.

    Run, UC! Get while the gettin’s good!

  12. Brando Says:

    You are not going to get men to behave better if you start talking about lipstick lesbians. Especially blond ones. Just sayin.

    Yeah, that’s just chumming the waters.

  13. Adorable Girlfriend Says:

    I don’t care if men behave better anymore because I am on women. I am going to sport a t-shirt that says, ‘WTF are you looking at? Unless you like to carpet munch, get your eyes off me.’

    Schmoopies isn’t going anywhere. I have garlic crabs (food, you sicko) that he wants.

  14. Michael Bains Says:

    Uhhhmmm… excuse me, but what guy DOESN’T like to carpet munch???

    Tabitha huh… I bet she’ll be Bewitchingly beautiful.

    (ok. Runnin’ and hiding now.. .)

  15. Michael Bains Says:

    Whoa! What STRAIGHT guy … ?

    ahhhh.. nevermind… I can’t think I when thinkin’ ’bout sex.

  16. dasc Says:

    It’s L J S C and she’s OK with it. I am allowed to look all I want. I just can’t lick. So sorry. No carpet munching from me. But there might just be your slogan for the panties thing every one has forgotten about. And that’s not funny my grandparents all died from leprosy back in the old country. Ha had you going.

  17. mdhatter Says:

    Blonde: My eyes are up here

    Homer Simpson: My decision is made

  18. glenda Says:

    Oh, darn,wouldn’t play. said the owner did not allow embedding..weird!
    it’s easy to find a boy, hard to find a man.

  19. butchie Says:

    Is cameltoe kosher?

  20. Rex Kramer, Danger Seeker Says:

    Any chance this lipstick lesbian can be found on YouTube as well?

  21. Pinko Punko Says:

    No comment.

  22. dasc Says:

    It’s easier to be a boy.

  23. Adorable Girlfriend Says:

    That is so gross Butchie!

    It’s not easier to be a boy. You have va jay jay envy.

  24. Thom Says:

    Dang, AG, you’re throwing rocks at the left fang of the snake in the jaws of the mongoose that saved the pet rat, STM (is the acronym for “seems to me” on the list?). Anyway, we’re all pigs, but thankfully only part pigs, like those nice poeple in that Twilight Zone episode.

  25. Adorable Girlfriend Says:

    LOL, Thom!

  26. midniter Says:

    I figured you’d want more of a butch woman.

  27. dasc Says:

    I meant as opposed to being a man.

  28. ricketyfunk Says:

    Man, Woman, All monkies!

    Complimints only get other people to do things that they don’t want to do.

    Starboy: Well…I’m glad you asked about that thing
    Cause what I’d like to do is sing
    A song about getting people to do stuff for you
    By using Compliments, even if they ain’t true, cause…
    You look like you’ve lost some weight, now lick my hands and paint that crate!…

    Captain: You have very nice, cheek bones now help me cosign this bank loan.

    Starboy: Cause a compliment will get you far even if it’s just a lie!

    Captain: Cause your skin’s as soft as buttermilk now help me paint my thigh

    Both: Cause you gotta compliment, because it’s not complicated. If you want some lemonade you gotta start manipulating. We wish it was different but that’s the way it seems to be, Cause you gotta compliment because that’s what people need!

    (Gotta love the Home Movies!)

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