Archive for the ‘It burns when Troy pees’ Category

Master Cleanse aka The Lemonade Diet – Day 1

June 13, 2006

So remember when I had planned to hit the gym a whole lot during this extended vacation that I’m on?  Yeah, it never happened.  Instead, I’ve been sitting around, packing on the pounds while I do my job hunting from the comfort of home. 

Now a few years ago, a friend of mine went on something called the lemonade diet.  As Res would put it, she’s one of those “Austin Hippies” who’s all about organic foods and healthy eating and crazy shit like that.  The diet isn’t about weight loss, though that’s often a side effect.  This diet is supposed to help detoxify and cleanse your system.

There are 3 things that I’m supposed to drink on this fast:

1)  “Lemonade” – A combination of 10 oz of purified water, 2 tbsp of grade B maple syrup, 2 tbsp freshly squeezed lemon juice (preferably from organic lemons), and 1/2 tsp of cayenne pepper.  You’re supposed to drink at least 6 glasses of the lemonade each day.

2)  Saline Wash – A combination of 1 quart of water with 2 tsp of non-iodized sea salt.  Drink this at the beginning of the day.

3)  Senna Tea – This is a laxative tea.  You can also use Smooth Move, but no way was I buying something with that name.  You’re supposed to drink this at the end of the day.

I had been doing some research on this on various websites and also spoke with a couple of dieticians that I know and decided to go on and try it.  Last night, I went and got all of the ingredients that I needed.  I didn’t wind up buying the organic lemons.  For the cost difference, they didn’t seem to be worth it.  Keep in mind that I’m only partially employed and organic grade B maple syrup is a little bit more than the Aunt Jemima that you put on your pancakes.

Sidenote: Tater, from Fast, Inc. needs to STICK IT IN!

So I started off with the saline wash this morning.  It sucked, big time.  I was suprised that I was able to drink it down.  The recommendation is to chug it down and I drank it as fast as I could and you pretty much have to or you’re going to hurl.

I’ve also had my first glass of the lemonade.  It wasn’t too bad.  I think that I might have put in too much cayenne given how much my stomach is burning.  I also only used half of the recommended amount of maple syrup, which is suggested for us big girls.

So far, so good….but we’ll see how I feel when the hunger pangs start.  I’m off to drink another glass of lemonade.



Chuckles, We’ve Got New Ones…

May 10, 2006

 Thanks to Butchie, we’ve got a new blog for AG and Chuckles to get banned from.  This sicko quotes Hitler like it’s a good thing.  Only a sick fuck would do so.  She also knows about public health and is proud to be a homophobe. She deserves whatever she gets from AG and her self inflicted hell.

Also, feel free to stop by Sean-the-Cobag’s new site and tell him AG said, “Maybe if you were playing Red Soxs with Stevie-ass-monkey, you wouldn’t be bothering Chuckles. He’s just not into you the way Stevie is.” Don’t forget to drop by this little pissant too.

I am totally awesome.

March 2, 2006

Lance Mannion Mar 1st, 2006 at 1:02 pm

Gee, I hate to be a wet blanket here, but I would just like to remind everybody that this is one serious post written by one righteous dude. Good job, res. (My reservations about Dworkin aside.) Another reason Holocaust Denial is illegal over there is that neo-Nazi movements are alive and kicking and neo-Nazis always start out by denying that what they are in fact advocating was ever a part of Nazism.
[emphasis mine. -ed.]