Archive for the ‘Journalism majors (See \”Cretins\”)’ Category

Kosovo actually gets remembered

August 18, 2006

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With Israel, Iran and Iraq grabbing the spotlight these days, we’ve forgotten about Kosovo. What we hear about it is usually about as clear as the words in the video. (First part of video may NOT be safe for viewing at work.)

Dink passed along the editorial below. He and the wife are living in Kosovo. They are working for an NGO implementing peace and democracy in the region. That’s a comfy job that will be steady work for years to come.

New York Times:
Navigating Kosovo’s Future
Published: August 18, 2006

The 1999 war over Kosovo left the former Serbian province in political
limbo, postponing the question of possible independence for another
day. That day is now at hand, and the main question facing the
international community is not whether Kosovo will become independent,
but when and how. Status talks are expected to conclude in the next
few months, with the United Nations Security Council to rule on the
issue by the end of the year.

The original plan was for Kosovo’s political leaders to demonstrate
their ability to govern responsibly before formal discussions of
sovereignty could begin. They haven’t really done so, although they
have made some grudging moves under international pressure.

Yet as a practical matter, Kosovo’s international wardship cannot be
extended indefinitely. The most promising way to encourage further
progress is by moving ahead to a carefully conditioned form of limited
autonomy.

The most critical issue, now as ever, is guaranteeing the rights of
the ethnic Serb minority. Any independence arrangement will have to
assure minorities a substantial role in government, particularly in
sensitive areas like the Justice Ministry.

For the first few years at least, the powers of Kosovo’s new
government must be strictly limited. An international authority will
have to monitor the government’s fulfillment of internationally agreed
conditions, paying special attention to issues like the rule of law
and minority rights. A few thousand NATO-led troops should remain in
Kosovo with the power to intervene when necessary to compel
compliance.

Most of the countries with troops in Kosovo would prefer to bring them
home now. But Kosovo’s march toward independence is going to remain
difficult and dangerous for years. The need for a continuing armed
international presence should be non-negotiable.

Another Daytime TV Talk Show

August 4, 2006

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Who the heck is Greg Behrendt? You may not know him, but you probably are familiar with his work. Sex and the City, standup comedy, wrote a little book called He’s Just Not That Into You. Apparently he has a daytime TV talk show slated to begin in September.

On his show Greg will offer practical advice, whatever that means. The PR folks boast that Greg actually listens instead of waiting to talk (though what he usually has to say is worth hearing). Again, these are PR folks who will probably never watch the show that they are selling this kind of talk to us. When asked about his upcoming show, Greg claimed “Oprah’s the Queen. Dr. Phil is your dad. Ellen is your sister and then I’m like your brother… your cool, or maybe ‘uncool,’ brother who gives advice.”

Sounds like a Ricki Lake failure in the making, cute like the puppy above but useless to the average person who actually works during the day.

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Stupid reporters: world without end, amen.

June 19, 2006

To my beloved regular readers (most of whom are athiests, as near as I can tell): I promse I’ll stop talking about the Episcopal Church soon. General Convention ends on Wednesday. Thanks for your patience!

The Daily Episcopalian has an interesting post about how the press is treating the election of Bishop Jefferts Schori as Presiding Bishop-elect. The pattern he identifies is familiar to those of us on the left side of blogistan: every “issue” has two “sides” which must be given equal treatment, no matter how miniscule and fringe one “side” ay be.

Scanning the wires tonight, I have become weary of the privileged place that the Anglican right is receiving in news stories about the election. What about these brave campaigners who are still less than 1/10th of the house of bishops (12 of the 180+ voting today) who have endured years of condescension from their brother bishops who don’t know enough to recognize their own sexism? Where were they in today’s stories? Kathrine Jefferts Schori wouldn’t even be a priest without the likes of Barbra Harris. So why is it that she isn’t in today’s stories and the usual American Anglican Council-types are? (Not that I mind people quoting the Rev. David Anderson speaking against he Episcopal Church. As the Larry King show demonstrated the other night, there are few things more beneficial for our Church than to have David Anderson speak against it.)

The press loves conflict and the quick interview, no matter how small the group causing the conflict might be. It is worth repeating here that when the clergy and lay deputations of each diocese were asked to confirm Jefferts Schori’s election, she received what amounts to 90 percent of the vote. In politics this is a landslide. In the Episcopal Church, somehow, it shows we are rent asunder.

Help me out here, brothers and sisters in the media. What is the fascination with a group of people that despite investing millions of dollars in upsetting the Church, have achieved so little influence on their native soil? I agree that from a media relations point of view they are valuable…

…but having said that, at some point, don’t you expect them to produce something along the lines of results? I mean, is this the great schism? That the eight or ten diocese (out of more than 100) that got themselves together to oppose Bishop Jefferts Schori are going to walk? I would hate to see it happen, but schism has been your guiding narrative for three years, and what if that is all you ever have to show for it? Meanwhile, you fail to notice that we’ve know got an Episcopal Church united behind a female Primate who speaks Spanish and was elected with the support of her Latin American brethren, leaving us better positioned than we have ever been to evangelize not only the United States, Central and northern South America and beyond.

If you were financial reporters and people kept predicting a recession that never came, you’d eventually stop paying attention to them, no? Or, if you were Charlie Brown and you’d been out with Linus on Halloween waiting for the Great Pumpkin, eventually you’d start wondering whether the Great Pumpkin was ever going to come.

You can check out the rest here.

My big gay post on the Episcopal Church

June 17, 2006

UPDATE: I’m going to keep this post at the top while the General Convention is considering the resolutions discussed below. For the usual Republic of Dogs fare, scroll on down past this post.

This week, the General Convention of the Episcopal Church USA is meeting in Columbus, OH. The GC meets every three years to conduct the business of the ECUSA. It is a bicameral legislature, with each diocese represented by its diocesan bishop in the House of Bishops, and by a delegation of four laypersons and four priests (who are elected, though I’m not sure how exactly, slacker that I am) in the House of Deputies. Legislation must pass both houses in identical form (or be “concurred”) to become law within our church. The GC is the highest authority in the Episcopal Church. It elects the Presiding Bishop, it revises the Book of Common Prayer, it sets the budget…and on and on.

Since there’s nothing that the prurient pinheads in the press corps love more than controversies over Teh Gay, you may have heard about one issue that is before GC 2006: a resolution to “apologize for the consecration of an openly gay bishop”, as some droner on NPR phrased it this morning. True to form, the media love to report on something that involves butt-sex and the culture wars, but all the boring details make their little heads hurt. But religion reporting depends on the details, because the context is everything, and the issues are almost never as simple as our national Strategic Reserve of Journalism Majors wish they were. So, here are some details:

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Ann Coulter is Such a Loser!

June 7, 2006

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I’m sorry, but who wears a cocktail dress at 7 AM?

Thanks to Res and Almost Infamous for teaching me about how to post videos.

Great Whores of American Journalism: Campaign 2008

May 24, 2006

First in an Ongoing Series

right in my mouth, Senator!

Laura Blumenfeld: Clueless Fuckwit, or Pervert Monkey-Lover?

If you were perhaps thinking that 2006 is a little early for the Washington Post and NY Times, the two great brothels of the eastern access-whore establishment, to start bashing Democrats and blowing Republicans – well, Dear Reader, think again! It’s NEVER too early to get a head-start on ensuring the maintenance of the whore-friendly status quo that the whores helped to bring about in 2000, helped to continue in 2004, and are hell-bent on extending in 2008.

To whit, behold the NY Times taking a probing and timely look at the intimate lives of the President and First Lady. What kind of freakish dysfunction lies behind the placid façade? I can’t WAIT to find out!

My, but we DO so love our pills!

Photograph courtesy of my new favorite website

Not THAT President, silly buttons! He’s our Daddy! No, we’re talking about THIS President, the hillbilly sex-maniac with the dyke wife. His nightmarish eight-year reign of peace and prosperity nearly bored us to death before he gave us all new a hobby by having tEh sExXx0r!

We come fer yer daughter, Chuck!

 

So anyway, yeah. This year we’re gonna party like it’s 1995!

From the Capital City Whorehouse, we have this rather astonishing combo blowjob-rimjob piece from little Miss Laura Blumenfeld, who straps on her official-issue Washington Post knee-pads and hits the pavement to give Bill Frist the tongue-lashingbath of a lifetime in a soft-core “human intrest story” that should have been called “Post Reporter Overpowered By Frist’s Blood-Drenched, Monkey-Scented Manliness, Forced To Gobble Senate Majority Leader’s Knob”. Or maybe just “Monkey Business”?

Frist listened to the heart; the gorilla’s lub-dub sounded human. “When you’re this close, you feel this kind of oneness with them,” Frist said. The stink of ape sweat and gorilla testosterone soaked his hair and clothes. “Gorillas, people, men.”

BLLAGGHHHHHHHRRHRHRGGGAAAAAHHH!!
Oh, excuse me. I was just vomiting. Moving right along.

In medical school, Frist cut out a dog’s heart and held it in his palm. It continued to beat for a slippery minute.
“Watching it beat, the beauty of it,” Frist recalled. “I decided I would spend my life centered around the heart.”

You know, I think I’ve read something like that before. In the opening chapters of an Ann Rule novel! RUN AWAY, CHILDREN! RUN!

But enough with the senseless slaughter of man’s best friend. Let’s get back to Laura Blumenfeld’s every-moistening panties!

Frist joined the team, as he had on other mornings, tying on a mask. He unbuttoned his business shirt, revealing jungle-pattern surgical scrubs and a pair of hairy, toned biceps.

Then he gazed into her dark, vulnerable eyes and proclaimed in his husky voice, “I’m Dr. Thrustingood, and I’ll be your new gynecologist.” That novel had FABIO on the cover, Dear Reader! Good times.

Anyway, let me wrap up with the shorter Laura Blumenfeld: Republicans possess a more natural and authentic manhood, as evidenced by my schoolgirl giddiness around some old white guy who smells like monkeys.

Something had changed inside of the beast while he slept. Frist smiled and spoke unremarkably from the lectern, reeking of silverback testosterone.

Looks like WaPo and the Gray Harlot have already made their picks for 2006 and 2008, and I’m sure they sincerely hope you’ll enjoy another eight years of having sophomoric soft-core porn like this shoved down your throat with a meat-hose labeled “Political Coverage”.

If by “groove” you mean “Candy’s tongue in his ass”, then hell yeah!

March 22, 2006

Check out the latest hijinx from CNN anchorhag Candy Crowley.

Feed me, Seymour!

Shorter Stephen Miller

March 22, 2006

(from the second hour of this morning’s Diane Rehm Show)

“Everything was so nice before the 60’s and all of that unpleasantness with the coloreds and the unladylike ladies and the homosexuals.”

Extended Remix:

“Genteel, witty repartee is the absolute cornerstone of occidental civilization, and all of these angry negative-nancys with their “issues” and their “grivances” need to calm down, lest the very foundations of the earth crumble beneath us. For an example of the coming apocalypse, just look at how the savage hoard of digital Huns from the Interweb clubbed poor Deborah Howell to death for writing a simple column about American political life, and then burned the Washington Post to the ground! Since this is radio, you can’t see me clutching my pearls!”

I hate Diane Rehm, Part 649

March 22, 2006

Why is E.J. Dionne always the token liberal on Diane Rehm? I mean, I know he works for Brookings, but he’s hardly a flaming progressive. This morning, she’s got him lined up against Byron York, blowboy White House correspondent for the National Review and author of the moderate, thoughtful book “The Vast Left-Wing Conspiracy”. Totally fair and balanced.

I’m gonna set Diane’s wig on fire. Anyone wanna come along?

Shorter George Bush

March 21, 2006

When I say things, they become true!