Archive for the ‘Sexploitation’ Category

How Strong Was That Vodka?

July 8, 2006

Because he wanted to “lick him like a kitten”

Disturbing on so many levels.  And I totally suck at putting YouTube stuff up on here.  But hey…it leaves more room for Res to pimp RoD stuff.

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Romantic Getaway

June 27, 2006

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Butchie has given AG the suggestion that perhaps what the cobags at Shootaliberal need is a weekend getaway to this little gem. (Note, AG is not linking to those cobags because we’ve all seen their stuff and you become stupid just for reading it.) Maybe then Stevie could come back with an articulate argument about something. Anything.

This Cheers up AG

June 14, 2006

You Are Super Spicy


You’re a little bit crazy, a little bit naughty, and a whole lot of sexy.
You go beyond hot – you set people’s senses on fire!
Are You Hot?

So true! Thanks to Mitzee for the link.

Great Whores of American Journalism: Campaign 2008

May 24, 2006

First in an Ongoing Series

right in my mouth, Senator!

Laura Blumenfeld: Clueless Fuckwit, or Pervert Monkey-Lover?

If you were perhaps thinking that 2006 is a little early for the Washington Post and NY Times, the two great brothels of the eastern access-whore establishment, to start bashing Democrats and blowing Republicans – well, Dear Reader, think again! It’s NEVER too early to get a head-start on ensuring the maintenance of the whore-friendly status quo that the whores helped to bring about in 2000, helped to continue in 2004, and are hell-bent on extending in 2008.

To whit, behold the NY Times taking a probing and timely look at the intimate lives of the President and First Lady. What kind of freakish dysfunction lies behind the placid façade? I can’t WAIT to find out!

My, but we DO so love our pills!

Photograph courtesy of my new favorite website

Not THAT President, silly buttons! He’s our Daddy! No, we’re talking about THIS President, the hillbilly sex-maniac with the dyke wife. His nightmarish eight-year reign of peace and prosperity nearly bored us to death before he gave us all new a hobby by having tEh sExXx0r!

We come fer yer daughter, Chuck!

 

So anyway, yeah. This year we’re gonna party like it’s 1995!

From the Capital City Whorehouse, we have this rather astonishing combo blowjob-rimjob piece from little Miss Laura Blumenfeld, who straps on her official-issue Washington Post knee-pads and hits the pavement to give Bill Frist the tongue-lashingbath of a lifetime in a soft-core “human intrest story” that should have been called “Post Reporter Overpowered By Frist’s Blood-Drenched, Monkey-Scented Manliness, Forced To Gobble Senate Majority Leader’s Knob”. Or maybe just “Monkey Business”?

Frist listened to the heart; the gorilla’s lub-dub sounded human. “When you’re this close, you feel this kind of oneness with them,” Frist said. The stink of ape sweat and gorilla testosterone soaked his hair and clothes. “Gorillas, people, men.”

BLLAGGHHHHHHHRRHRHRGGGAAAAAHHH!!
Oh, excuse me. I was just vomiting. Moving right along.

In medical school, Frist cut out a dog’s heart and held it in his palm. It continued to beat for a slippery minute.
“Watching it beat, the beauty of it,” Frist recalled. “I decided I would spend my life centered around the heart.”

You know, I think I’ve read something like that before. In the opening chapters of an Ann Rule novel! RUN AWAY, CHILDREN! RUN!

But enough with the senseless slaughter of man’s best friend. Let’s get back to Laura Blumenfeld’s every-moistening panties!

Frist joined the team, as he had on other mornings, tying on a mask. He unbuttoned his business shirt, revealing jungle-pattern surgical scrubs and a pair of hairy, toned biceps.

Then he gazed into her dark, vulnerable eyes and proclaimed in his husky voice, “I’m Dr. Thrustingood, and I’ll be your new gynecologist.” That novel had FABIO on the cover, Dear Reader! Good times.

Anyway, let me wrap up with the shorter Laura Blumenfeld: Republicans possess a more natural and authentic manhood, as evidenced by my schoolgirl giddiness around some old white guy who smells like monkeys.

Something had changed inside of the beast while he slept. Frist smiled and spoke unremarkably from the lectern, reeking of silverback testosterone.

Looks like WaPo and the Gray Harlot have already made their picks for 2006 and 2008, and I’m sure they sincerely hope you’ll enjoy another eight years of having sophomoric soft-core porn like this shoved down your throat with a meat-hose labeled “Political Coverage”.

My mind: blown directly out my ass.

May 24, 2006

AGGGGGHHH!!

The current Bush administration has also accorded legitimacy to the cult leader. Under the Bush administration’s faith-based initiatives, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services gave a $475,280 grant to fund Free Teens USA, a Moonie-run after-school celibacy club that recruits people into the cult. (Quick note: on the issue of nonmarital sex, the former womb-blesser is now a sadistic puritan: “If your love organ,” Moon once told his male followers, “does not listen to your conscience, then you should cut off the tip [with pliers].”)

Another Gem

April 27, 2006

 

There is this guy who has responded to both personal ads in the experiment on Craig’s List.  There were two e-mails this time and one last time. 

He actually might be the guy who for at least the past six months re-posts his ad every week.  See that guy’s ad here. The sad part is that the guy is fairly decent looking.  He doesn’t repulse AG. Or atleast the photo in the post looks decent.  What is going on there is beyond AG.  Either it’s his OCD or the photo is not him and well, most women don’t really want a man who looks like Ozzie O.

Whatever is the case, the three-time-e-mail-responder guy sent this little nugget today via email:

Your post sounds like the Boy Scout oath

Broke-ass Movie

April 4, 2006

We bought Brokeback Mountain this morning. Am I the only non-wingnut American who’s not 100% enthralled with this film?

It’s been, what, 37 years since the Stonewall Riots? And we’re still fascinated with two drunken closet cases falling into each other’s butt-holes at the low-rent equivalent of Boy Scout Camp? I guess it’s only cool to be gay if you’re, you know, not gay gay. Like, you fuck chicks and stuff. But you can fuck guys too, if you’re so manly you can’t even open your mouth all the way when you talk. And these dudes were so manly that they discovered a pure Noble Savage’s homosexuality, free from the enervating corruption of those city-slickin’ queers! Argh!!

Whatever.

Also…gay or not, Ennis was a dick to the mother of his daughters, and there’s nothing cute about that. Gay assholes are assholes too. This movie should have been called “Perpetual Teenagers on a Big Gay Adventure”.