Archive for the ‘teh gay’ Category

Did Hell Freeze Over When I Wasn’t Looking?

August 22, 2006

That’s the only way that I can think to explain this.  And I totally missed this a couple of months ago.  I’m waiting for the right-wing nut job religious fanatics to start protesting this and organizing a boycott of Wally World.  Not because of all the other horrible shit that they do, but because now they’re going to be involved with Teh Gays.

Nice Work If You Can Get It

June 28, 2006

Sunday night, I went out with some friends to one of the local gay bars to hang out before one of them went back to Houston.  For almost as long as I can remember, Sunday has been one of the big nights for drag here with “Super Sunday Shows”.  I’m not entirely sure what it is, but when people from other Texas cities come here, they all know or have heard of the local drag queens here.  It used to be that whenever one of the daytime “talk shows” needed a female impersonator for whatever reason, they would come find them here.

One of the more prominent performers here is Shady Lady.  Shady has been around since I started going out to the bars 10 years ago, and given that she’s 54, she’s been around for a while (she told us all at the show her age).  So Sunday night, she came out and did one of the usual lipsynching numbers to kick off the show (she’s the emcee) and raised $27 dollars.  Almost enough for a tank of gas, but really, not enough money to justify getting into a dress, heels, and more makeup than Tammy Faye. 

So Shady brought out her secret weapon: The Roll.

Every fag in San Antonio knows about The Roll.  It’s Shady’s signature move and people LOVE it.  Something about watching a 50+ year old drag queen rolling around on the ground brings out the cash.  We won’t pay cover at a bar, but we’ll break out $20 to get Shady to do this.  Telling us that we were going to have to pay to see her do it brought in another $130, and this was on a night when the crowd was kind of dead.  On nights when it’s packed, I’ve seen her bring in more than $200.  At Pride a few years ago, bitch brought in a TON of money for being willing to roll around in the grass.  So for maybe 2 minutes of rolling on the dance floor in the bar, she made $65 a minute.

I need a signature move that will pay me like that.

African Bishops Disappointed by Episcopal Church’s Failure to Stone, Burn Gays

June 22, 2006

I’m sure that exactly no one, with the possible exception of ++Frank Griswold and +Katharine Jefferts Schori, that the African Bishops are not mollified in the slightest by the actions taken by the General Convention yesterday.

T19 (no, sorry, won’t link to them) reports the following statement from the seemingly omnipresent ++Peter Akinola, this time in his role as the Chairman of the Council of Anglican Provinces in Africa:

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Clergy gone wild!

June 22, 2006

Aron reports that the following email exchange was posted on the Via Media Forth Worth Yahoo Group:

I thought you might be interested in this email exchange…

First, here’s an email sent from a member of the Diocese of Fort Worth to Iker…

On Jun 19, 2006, at 3:32 PM, Susann Eller wrote:

> As a member in good standing of the Episcopal Church not your church

> apparently, I want to let you know that I do not agree with you and

> your followers on the Resolution passed yesterday asking that this

> Diocese withdraw from the Episcopal Church.

> I along with many others in this Diocese will remain affiliated with

> the Episcopal Church of the United States not you and your followers.

> How dare you speak for us?

> Susann M. Eller

> Member of Trinity Episcopal Church

And then here’s the good Bishop’s response…

—–Original Message—–

From: Bishop Jack L. Iker [mailto:jliker@…]

Sent: Monday, June 19, 2006 9:29 PM

To: Susann Eller

Subject: Re: Member of Episcopal Church

You are mistaken in your notion that our Diocese is withdrawing from the Episcopal Church. Please stop spreading lies. Stick to the facts.

I am your bishop – and I speak for this diocese, whether you like it or not.

Grow up.

JLI

=-=-=

Nice, huh?

Nice, indeed!

Behold, the consecration vows for a Bishop in the Episcopal Church! (From the rite entitled “The Ordination of a Bishop”, which begins on page 511 of the Book of Common Prayer)

Bishop: As chief priest and pastor, will you encourage and support all baptized people in their gifts and ministries, nourish them from the riches of God’s grace, pray for them without ceasing, and celebrate with them the sacraments of our redemption?

Answer: [presumably spoken by Bishop Iker at his own consecration –Ed.] I will, in the name of Christ, the Shepherd and Bishop of our souls.

Bishop:  Will you be merciful to all, show compassion to the poor and strangers, and defend those who have no helper?

Answer:  I will, for the sake of Christ Jesus.

Perhaps Bishop Iker’s prayerbook adds “…unless they’re chicks or homos.”  Mine does not.

Liz Zivanov reports:

When Bonnie Perry got up and asked the HoD if A161 meant that gays were to return to lying and deceiving about who they are in order to be in the church,, I watched three priests from the Diocese of Dallas look at each other, chuckle, and nod their heads. So much for unity and honesty

When are we going to just start calling people out on that kind of behavior?  No one is perfect, to be sure, but one of the functions of the clergy orders is to model Christian charity, mercy and humility before the jerks (like me) who they are called to serve.  That sort of rank, snarky assholery may have a place in the Republican Party, but it has no place on the floor of a grievously divided General Convention, and priests who have sworn at their ordination to “build up the family of God” (BCP 532) should be held accountable for that kind of the behavior.

African Bishops: Killing is okay, buttsex not so much.

June 21, 2006

Here’s an interesting article from Thinking Anglicans about the table at which the Bishops of the Episcopal Church hope they’ve bought themselves a seat today:

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My big gay post on the Episcopal Church

June 17, 2006

UPDATE: I’m going to keep this post at the top while the General Convention is considering the resolutions discussed below. For the usual Republic of Dogs fare, scroll on down past this post.

This week, the General Convention of the Episcopal Church USA is meeting in Columbus, OH. The GC meets every three years to conduct the business of the ECUSA. It is a bicameral legislature, with each diocese represented by its diocesan bishop in the House of Bishops, and by a delegation of four laypersons and four priests (who are elected, though I’m not sure how exactly, slacker that I am) in the House of Deputies. Legislation must pass both houses in identical form (or be “concurred”) to become law within our church. The GC is the highest authority in the Episcopal Church. It elects the Presiding Bishop, it revises the Book of Common Prayer, it sets the budget…and on and on.

Since there’s nothing that the prurient pinheads in the press corps love more than controversies over Teh Gay, you may have heard about one issue that is before GC 2006: a resolution to “apologize for the consecration of an openly gay bishop”, as some droner on NPR phrased it this morning. True to form, the media love to report on something that involves butt-sex and the culture wars, but all the boring details make their little heads hurt. But religion reporting depends on the details, because the context is everything, and the issues are almost never as simple as our national Strategic Reserve of Journalism Majors wish they were. So, here are some details:

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Broke-ass Movie

April 4, 2006

We bought Brokeback Mountain this morning. Am I the only non-wingnut American who’s not 100% enthralled with this film?

It’s been, what, 37 years since the Stonewall Riots? And we’re still fascinated with two drunken closet cases falling into each other’s butt-holes at the low-rent equivalent of Boy Scout Camp? I guess it’s only cool to be gay if you’re, you know, not gay gay. Like, you fuck chicks and stuff. But you can fuck guys too, if you’re so manly you can’t even open your mouth all the way when you talk. And these dudes were so manly that they discovered a pure Noble Savage’s homosexuality, free from the enervating corruption of those city-slickin’ queers! Argh!!

Whatever.

Also…gay or not, Ennis was a dick to the mother of his daughters, and there’s nothing cute about that. Gay assholes are assholes too. This movie should have been called “Perpetual Teenagers on a Big Gay Adventure”.

Dear James Wolcott

March 29, 2006

Yes.  Yes, it does.

Sincerely,

Res Publica