Nice Work If You Can Get It

Sunday night, I went out with some friends to one of the local gay bars to hang out before one of them went back to Houston.  For almost as long as I can remember, Sunday has been one of the big nights for drag here with “Super Sunday Shows”.  I’m not entirely sure what it is, but when people from other Texas cities come here, they all know or have heard of the local drag queens here.  It used to be that whenever one of the daytime “talk shows” needed a female impersonator for whatever reason, they would come find them here.

One of the more prominent performers here is Shady Lady.  Shady has been around since I started going out to the bars 10 years ago, and given that she’s 54, she’s been around for a while (she told us all at the show her age).  So Sunday night, she came out and did one of the usual lipsynching numbers to kick off the show (she’s the emcee) and raised $27 dollars.  Almost enough for a tank of gas, but really, not enough money to justify getting into a dress, heels, and more makeup than Tammy Faye. 

So Shady brought out her secret weapon: The Roll.

Every fag in San Antonio knows about The Roll.  It’s Shady’s signature move and people LOVE it.  Something about watching a 50+ year old drag queen rolling around on the ground brings out the cash.  We won’t pay cover at a bar, but we’ll break out $20 to get Shady to do this.  Telling us that we were going to have to pay to see her do it brought in another $130, and this was on a night when the crowd was kind of dead.  On nights when it’s packed, I’ve seen her bring in more than $200.  At Pride a few years ago, bitch brought in a TON of money for being willing to roll around in the grass.  So for maybe 2 minutes of rolling on the dance floor in the bar, she made $65 a minute.

I need a signature move that will pay me like that.